“You feel so fucking good,” he chokes out. “I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw you.”
My heart bangs against my chest, and I nod to indicate I understand. He leans down and kisses me, and I wrap my legs around him, stroking my palms over the length of his back. Together, we start to move. Me arching, and him rocking. It’s slow at first. He’s still trying to make it last. I want to make it last too, but inevitably, as I get closer and closer to the edge and my body squeezes around him, his responds. He starts to roll his hips harder. Faster. My fingertips dig into his back as my head falls deeper into the pillow. His head tips back as he leans up, gritting his teeth.
I shatter around him first, and he rides it out long enough to let me have it before he jerks his cock out of me and pumps his fist over his length. He releases a tormented sound, and jets of his come spray across my stomach.
When he can’t wring any more out of himself, he collapses beside me, chest heaving. I roll my head to the side and watch him as his pulse slows. I never knew a man could be beautiful, but that’s exactly what he is. We’re both hot and sticky, limp from the intensity of our connection. I don’t know what happens next, but I know I don’t want him to leave. Then he looks at me, and I can see the stress is already returning to his body. I’m not certain if he regrets what just happened, or he’s worried this will complicate things.
“I’ll get something to clean you up,” he says.
He drags himself from the bed before pulling up his trousers and disappearing into the bathroom. The faucet runs for a few minutes, and when he comes back, he has a damp cloth he uses to wipe over my belly. It’s an intimate act, but there’s no intimacy in his touch right now. He’s back to efficiency, barely looking at me, and I know I’m going to lose him. I don’t want to, because I’m afraid of the feelings his absence will provoke, so in an act of desperation, I reach for my phone and type out a question to distract him.
What happened to Nino’s birth parents?
He frowns when I show it to him. I’m not sure he’ll even answer it, honestly. He sits down beside me and watches as I cover myself with part of the blanket. His pants are zipped back up, but he didn’t adjust his shirt yet.
“Nino’s mother was young,” he says quietly. “She’s a member of our Society, and with that comes expectations. She wasn’t married to his father when she got pregnant, and it all became too much for her. She went into hiding until she had the baby, and then sent for the father to retrieve him. She didn’t want to be involved in his life.”
My jaw clenches in disbelief. There is so much I could say. I’m hurt on Nino’s behalf. What must he feel like to be told that his mother didn’t want him? It had to leave a wound, because I’m certain at some point, he must have asked.
And his father? I write.
Alessio is quiet, a dark expression on his face, and I can’t quite tell what’s behind it. Anger? Grief? I don’t know, but when I reach up and stroke one of the scars on his chest, he freezes, his hand coming to mine.
“His father is gone too.” He rises abruptly, my hand falling away from him as he glances down at me. “I have some work to do. Goodnight, Natalia.”
His formal goodbye leaves me cold and uncertain as he walks away without a glance back. He doesn’t wait for a response. He doesn’t even look at me again. In my heart, I knew I was right. This doesn’t feel good. It feels pretty fucking terrible, actually.
My eyes sting, and I don’t even know why I’m letting this get to me. I’m sad that he’s gone and that eventually, I’ll have to hurt him if he doesn’t hurt me first. Most of all, I’m sad for Nino.
I don’t know where his father is, but if I had to draw a conclusion from Alessio’s statement, I could only guess that he must be dead.
15
Natalia
When I go down to breakfast, I’m half expecting to find Alessio gone. I’ve convinced myself avoidance will be how he deals with this situation, but it comes as a shock to find he’s there as usual. We greet each other wordlessly, and there isn’t much to talk about at the table today. Nino is tired, but he mentions his excitement about the boat outing planned for next weekend. I focus on him, but I can feel Alessio’s gaze on me. I just can’t return it, because I’m afraid of what I might find there.