I stop abruptly and pick her up, carrying her to the bed and tossing her onto it. She looks up at me uncertainly as I lower myself over her and spread her thighs apart. I don’t want to look into her lying eyes, but I have to, because this will be the last time I ever do. I shove my dick back inside of her, and she arches up into me, her fingers clawing the bedding as I thrust deep and hard. I fuck her into oblivion. I fuck her until all the stress from the day accumulates in the base of my spine and explodes out of my balls inside of her. My cock jerks, spewing come into her womb without a second thought about the consequences. It’s what I’ve wanted to do from the first moment I saw her. There’s a twisted sense of satisfaction in me when I pull away and watch the evidence of my possession leak from her pussy. It lasts for a matter of seconds before I’m questioning what I’ve done. She follows my gaze, glancing between her thighs, and her face begins to shift. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an empty expression on her, and instinctively, I know she’s no longer here. She’s somewhere else. Without warning, she starts hyperventilating, bolting upright as she shakes her head violently.
“No. No. No. No. No. No.” Her voice cracks. “You aren’t taking my baby.”
Her chest heaves as she crawls around me, flinging herself from the bed. Her bare feet slap against the floor as she starts to run, and I watch in disbelief as she heads for the stairs. I yank up my pants, following after her, cursing myself for letting this happen. She’s on fucking psychedelics, deep in the grasp of an obvious hallucination, and right now, I’m her goddamned tormentor.
“Natalia,” I call after her as I climb the stairs, giving chase.
I’m expecting her to grab a weapon. I’m expecting her to try to end me. But when I reach the top deck, I find her at the edge of the bow, stepping over the railing as if she’s going to jump. One of the dock lines is tangled around her foot, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
My heart hammers against my chest as I call out to her, but she doesn’t hear me. She’s too far gone, captive to her mind.
She’s got one foot over the railing, her hair blowing in the breeze as she stares over the water. She’s never looked so fucking tragic, and it destroys me.
“Natalia.” I soften my voice, approaching her carefully. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”
She doesn’t respond. I’m still two feet away when she starts to lift the foot that’s tangled in the dock line. She’s walked right into it, too dazed to understand the magnitude of this situation. If I don’t reach her first, she’s going to trip. I rush forward at the same time she lifts her arms and leans toward the edge.
“I’ll float away again,” she croaks. “I’m taking my baby away.”
I catch her by the shirt, barely grasping onto her as we both topple forward. Gravity works against us, my shins smacking against the railing as I try to stop the inevitable. Her weight yanks me forward, and the rope catches my trousers before we both tumble overboard, crashing into the water and bouncing off each other. The cold water stabs my skin like a thousand tiny needles as I rise to the surface, gasping for air.
I wipe my eyes, seeking her out, but I can’t find her. One second passes and then two. I call out for her, my chest squeezing in pain as I move around. There’s no response. She couldn’t respond if she wanted to because someone tried to silence her forever. Now, she’s reliving that history as she drowns in the ice-cold fucking lake I was determined to bury her in.
I dive back under, slicing my arms around me as I try to see through the darkness. But I can’t. I can’t see shit, and every second that passes torments me. I’m not ready yet. Not this way. I can’t let her go like this.
Something brushes against my fingertips, and I swim closer, grabbing onto what I realize is the rope. I burst up to the surface again, pulling it through my hands as the weight at the other end resists. She’s still tangled in its grasp. I can feel it as I pull harder, my breath heaving as I work faster and faster. And then, instead of rope, I finally touch her foot. I dive under again and pull her against my chest, exhaustion weighing me down as I swim toward the stern. She’s limp in my arms, and in the back of my mind, there’s a voice telling me I’m already too late, but I can’t accept that. I won’t.