I swallow, wondering if she’s changed her mind. Perhaps she’s decided death is a better alternative than marrying me after all. I unfold it reluctantly, reading the words written in the handwriting I’ve come to know well.
Alessio,
I’ve been waiting to tell you this, but it never felt like the right time. It’s important that you know before we marry that I am truly sorry for any pain I have caused you. I’m sorry about the lies I told you, and most of all, I’m sorry about what happened with Gwen. I can’t go back and change it, and I can’t take away your grief. But I hope that one day, we can move on from it together.
When you made your proposal, you told me that this situation wasn’t ideal. But that wasn’t true. I didn’t say yes to save myself. I said yes because this is what I want. And I hope someday you will feel the same way too.
Thank you for being the man who saves me, even at my worst.
Natalia
I relax back into the seat, staring at the letter. Quietly, I try to pick apart every nuance of the words. The silence is overbearing, and I don’t know why I even fucking ask, but I do.
“How is she?”
“She’s nervous,” Luca says reluctantly. “But she seems to be doing okay.”
I nod. His response does nothing to settle me, but time passes regardless. And then, inevitably, it’s up.
“Shall we?” Luca stands, gesturing for me.
I swallow, rise, and take one last look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are hollow from a lack of sleep, and I’m not acting like myself, but there’s a strange new feeling settling over me as I prepare to meet my bride at the altar. I don’t recognize this feeling. It’s warm, soft, and all-consuming. There’s a name for it, I think, but it can’t be that.
It certainly can’t be that.
28
Natalia
Between Alessio and Abella, I’ve been given enough information to have a pretty solid understanding of how today is supposed to go. I’ve been told Society weddings are often elaborate affairs, but that won’t be the case for ours. Alessio didn’t want to have the wedding in Seattle because that would require him to invite all his associates and their wives. Here, in New York, it will just be the witnesses and us.
I’m okay with that because my nerves are already shot. Alessio’s coldness toward me today isn’t making this any easier. He’s barely looked at me, and it’s unsettling. I can’t help feeling like I’ve trapped him into this situation, and I hate it. But most of all, I hate that he doesn’t want it the way I do.
It's hard to breathe when a guard I don’t recognize comes to retrieve me. He tells me it’s time and escorts me out into the main church. When the doors open, the men in masks and cloaks turn to regard me. They are the witnesses from IVI. Alessio told me they’d be here as a requirement, and I wouldn’t know who they are. It all feels a bit strange, but this is part of their marriage ritual, and I know it will only get more intense as the day goes on.
My eyes drift to the front, where Alessio is waiting for me. He towers over the priest in an all-black suit, overshadowing everyone else in the room. He’s the perfect mixture of dark looks and handsome features. A villain and a reluctant hero. When his gaze settles on me, it pulls me forward like a magnet.
Music plays as I walk down the aisle, but I’m not sure I hear any of it. My head feels like it’s underwater. I’m dizzy and nervous over the doubt I might find in Alessio’s eyes when I reach him.
It seems to take forever. My body feels like it’s weighted down with bricks, and it’s hard to move. When I first put on the dress, it felt beautiful, but it’s claustrophobic right now. Somehow, by some miracle, I make it to the man I’m going to marry. His eyes heat and then flare as they move over me with a slow-burning appreciation, and I feel like I can finally breathe again. This is the reaction I needed from him. I don’t think I could have gone through with this if he wasn’t as vulnerable as I am now.
He releases a breath too, and his shoulders relax as I offer him a small, nervous smile. The warmth has returned to his eyes, and it might be as temporary as the sun peeking through the storm clouds, but for now, I will take it.
The music draws to an end, and the priest welcomes us, beginning the ceremony with scripture. I catch only a few words because I can’t seem to tear my gaze from Alessio. He doesn’t look away either. It might be the longest we’ve ever gazed into each other’s eyes, and it feels intimate. It feels … sweet.