In Silence She Screams (Midnight Mayhem 3)

“You didn’t really think you could run from me forever, did you?”

I didn’t speak. I didn’t want him to know I was alive, but I knew that once he knew, I would be fucked.

He took a step closer to me. “Perse is hurt that you don’t want to see her, but I’m just—” He looked off into the distance. “Surprised.”

I took a step closer to him, trapped in the history our souls had explored together. “Kohen…”

“Dove,” he replied with a gentleness I was sure only I would ever see. “What do you say, Little Bird? Wanna run away with me and break the law?”

“I don’t know,” I answered sadly, guilt tearing at my heart. “I did something bad. I’ve caused so much hurt.”

Kohen’s grin deepened. “What is it, Little Bird?”

I brought my eyes up to his. “I killed Eli to save Lilith.”

Christmas

Holidays are supposed to be peaceful. That quiet time between your everyday routine and the dream of being away. At least, that’s the case when you’re not surrounded by the EKC and their entire fucking gang.

“So I was thinking…” Madison tiptoes downstairs after finally putting Priest and Halen down. Look, I’m all for children, but having twins? Fuck. That. I can’t see myself having enough love in me for another child—even if Lilith could still have them.

“Oh! Yes! I want to ski!” Saint says from beneath Brantley’s arm. The girls all cooked up this holiday and have made it a pact that every year we all go on family vacations. Ding, ding! They also get to pick.

Love that for all of us boys.

At least this year, we’re in Aspen. Bishop owns the house we’re staying in, with glass for walls to give you a complete three-sixty view of the snowy mountains.

Madison snuggles into Bishop. “Right? Let’s do it all tomorrow. Then we can relax in the hot tub and get drunk.”

The girls all laugh, sipping their hot chocolates. It’s not until I lean down to sniff Lilith’s that I realize they’re starting their drinking now.

I chuckle, shaking my head before kissing her. “I’ll be back.”

After catching Nate, Brantley, and Bishop’s eyes, we all make our way into the kitchen. Windows on this side overlook the long driveway lined with thick shrubs with cloud-like snow covering the branches and leaves. It’s late. Getting onto midnight, and after the flight, we’re all tired, to say the least.

“Man, we got a whole ass lifetime with this crazy shit. I feel like they’re a really small gang, and they love us, but they’d also kill us if they needed to.” Nate’s rambling distracts me enough.

I pour whiskey into tumblers, and they all grab for one each.

“Everything okay with you and Lilith?” Bishop asks after taking a long sip.

I lean against the counter, squeezing the edge. “Yeah, we’re always good. There’s just something…”

“Like he’s always there?” Brantley asks, but his eyes are fixed outside.

“Yeah. I swear I feel him some days, just—there. Existing with us. Watching. Probably laughing at both of us fucking it all up.” I snort, shaking my head as my laughter dies out when sadness seeps back in.

“He’d be proud of you both, bro. So fucking proud.” Nate squeezes my shoulder, before they all filter back out to the lounge with the girls.

Shaking my head, I tilt my head back and swallow the rest of the amber liquid, hissing when it lights a fire trailing down my throat. As I place my glass into the sink, movement outside catches my eye, like a shadow moving from out of the shrubs.

A shadow. Hoodie over his head, a bandana covering the bottom half of his face. I freeze, falling backward while scrubbing my eyes with the back of my hand.

“Like he’s always there…” Brantley whispers quietly from behind me, and I spin around quickly to face him.

“What?”

Brantley nudges his head toward the door. “I’ll cover you, Mayhem. You’ve got ten minutes tops.” Before I can ask what the fuck he’s talking about, I start moving toward the front door. The girls’ laughter halts my movement, but before I can second-guess myself, or Brantley, I turn the handle and step outside.

As I close the door, snow whips me across the face as I make my way down the wooden stairs.

My heart stops beating as I take each step.

One.

Two.

The shadow moves out from behind the tree.

Three.

Four.

His fingers wrap around the curve of his hoodie.

Five.

Six.

The hoodie falls around the back of his neck and my heart fucking flatlines. Stumbling backward, I reach for the railing to break my fall when the smirk I’ve fucking bled for every night since he has been gone flashes in front of me.

Not in a memory.

In real fucking time.

He tugs down the bandana. “You’re right. I do laugh at you both. Often.” And just like that, I want to hit him.

Launching forward, I grip him around his collar and pull his chest into me, my eyes wild and jaw clenched. Mostly because I’m mad, but also because I want to be reassured that this is him. In real fucking life. In some sick part of my mind, I wait to wake up, with Lilith on one side and Luna on the other.