The Nurse's One Night to Forever

He was canceling their plans.

Justin was canceling their plans.

And just like that she knew the end had started.

She nodded as if she understood, and reached for the door handle. She did understand.

She didn’t lean over to kiss him goodbye and he didn’t seem to notice—or didn’t care if he did.

Her feet felt like lead as she trudged toward her house from the driveway. As if with each step she was giving into gravity more and more, becoming heavier and heavier.

Why couldn’t she get the sick feeling of impending doom out of her stomach? It was one she recognized, having felt it before and ignored it then. Could she afford to do so now?

But that night, as she lay in her hammock, breathing the eucalyptus-laden air deep into her lungs, wishing she had her necklace to draw strength from, every instinct told her she should worry. The same instinct that she’d ignored prior to her wedding day. Look where that had gotten her... Jilted at the altar.

Why wasn’t she picking up her phone and calling Justin? Demanding he tell her what was going on? Better yet, why were tears rolling down her cheeks?

Because she was a fool and she had let him get too close.

She needed to rectify that immediately.

* * *

Riley had tossed and turned most of the night, struggled with dragging her butt out of bed that morning to head to work, and then been disappointed that Justin hadn’t been on the schedule in the OR.

Disappointed or relieved? Because as long as she didn’t see him she didn’t have to deal with their changed relationship status.

Why hadn’t he called or texted?

Then again, she’d not called or texted him, either.

She could have reached out to him but had instead waited to see what he’d do.

Why?

Because she didn’t want to seem desperate to have his attention.

Because he’d made her uncomfortable with his questions about kids.

Because he’d been so distracted by whoever had texted him.

Because she knew he was leaving, and the sooner she accepted it, the sooner she quit wondering, the sooner she could start getting past the heartbreak that was about to rain down on her.

The day crept slowly by, but she made it—never feeling so happy to clock out, go home, shower, and take Daisy for a run.

She ran further than her usual distance, needing to push her body in hopes of clearing her mind. It didn’t work, so after returning home she went to her other active therapy—yard work.

She was in the backyard, pulling weeds while Daisy inspected the fence line, when Justin arrived at her house.

“I missed you,” he said.

He was there. She was glad he was there. But he shouldn’t be. She needed to not get sucked back into those baby blues.

“Daisy, shush,” she told the dog, who was yapping at Justin.

Daisy ignored her and kept on barking—wanting Justin to say something to her or to pet her, most likely.

She turned toward this man she was glad to see, but who looking at hurt. Hurt because she felt the tides pulling them apart. And as much as she needed to let go, she desperately wanted to cling.