“I care about my family.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “You have an odd way of showing it.”
“You don’t understand my relationship with my family.”
“Your family doesn’t understand your relationship with them. Nor do they like it. God, you are so lucky to have a family to love you, but you know what? You don’t deserve them, Dirk.”
His jaw worked as he regarded her. “My relationship with my family is none of your business.”
Unable to sit still another moment, she stood, glared down at him. “You’re right. It’s not. I’m just pregnant with your child. A fact you haven’t bothered to share with your family.”
He stood, did some glaring of his own. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Great excuse, but we’re not talking about anyone. We’re talking about your family. Our baby’s family.” She’d never wanted to shake another human being before, but at that moment she wanted to shake Dirk. To jar some sense into him. “Are you embarrassed by me? Or were you not planning on telling them about me ever?”
Oh, God. Was that what the problem had been tonight? Dirk hadn’t wanted his family to know about her? Hadn’t wanted them to know he’d knocked up some naive nurse who’d fallen in love with him at first sight? Oh, God. She had fallen in love at first sight. Just as her parents had. Only Dirk hadn’t fallen in love with her. He didn’t even want his family to know she existed, had been a jerk because she’d invited them for Christmas dinner.
“It’s not like that.” He looked as if he’d like to wrap his fingers around her and do some shaking of his own.
“They don’t understand how I feel. No one does.”
Which said it all. Said exactly where she fit into the grand scheme of things. She’d given and given to him. Of her time and her heart. And although Dirk had given of his time, had helped her at her volunteer stints, he hadn’t given her of his heart. Not once.
“Maybe it’s because you keep your heart locked up inside and won’t let anyone close, including your family.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Abby just stared at him.
His look of annoyance grew. “You have no idea how much trouble you’ve caused me by inviting them here.”
Trouble as in they’d be asking about her?
“Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you.”
His jaw clenched, and he exhaled slowly. “Quit misreading everything I say.”
“Or maybe, for the first time, I’m reading everything the right way,” she said, knowing in her heart that it was true. She’d believed in Dirk’s inner goodness. Had even believed that he’d come around regarding Christmas.
She really had been naive.
If not for her pregnancy, Dirk wouldn’t be there. It was only his sense of responsibility that kept him coming round. Which wasn’t nearly enough to base a future on.
Not nearly enough for her heart.
Abby longed to sob at her loss, but she wouldn’t cry in front of him, wouldn’t let him see how much she hurt. Instead, she turned her back toward him and went to the sofa and collapsed onto the plush upholstery.
“Leave, Dirk. I don’t want you here.” She hadn’t known she was going to say the words, but once they left her lips she knew they were right, the only words she could say. Just like the Christmas village, her dreams, any hope of a future between them was shattered.
Silent, he walked over and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. “You don’t want me to go.”
She gawked at his audacity. “Actually, I do. I saw a side of you tonight I never want to see again. You have no idea how lucky you are to have those people. They love you and want to be a part of your life.”
“They are a part of my life.”
“On the periphery perhaps.”
“I’ve already told you, I talk to them routinely.”