But, even more confusing, why did the thought not seem so horrible either?
When he’d suggested taking a shower, she’d thought he’d meant alone. Honestly, she wanted to be alone, to have a few minutes to herself to think, digest the morning’s events. But he must have been afraid to leave her, because he turned the walk-in shower on, tested the temperature then pulled her in with him.
He didn’t say a word, just washed her hair, her body, rinsed her clean, then did the same for himself while she watched.
When he was done, he wrapped her in a large bath sheet and they silently dressed.
She wished she knew what he was thinking. Considering what might be happening inside her body, he’d been wonderful, sweet, very understanding.
But he couldn’t be happy about the possibility of her being pregnant with his child. Of all the women he’d ever been with, he’d surely have chosen someone different to have conceived his child.
What about her? How did she feel about all the things bouncing around in her head?
What if before the end of the year she was going to give birth to Ty Donaldson’s baby?
“You’ve barely said two words since we left the house,” Ty pointed out as he maneuvered Ole Bess into downtown Swallow Creek.
Ellie sat with her hands folded in her lap, staring out the passenger window at the various businesses they drove past. “At this point, I’m not sure what to say.”
She’d been quiet all morning. Somehow she’d made it through breakfast with his family, although she’d barely eaten a thing until his mother had yet again offered to have something different prepared. Red-faced, Ellie had forced down some eggs and a biscuit, but he’d seen the effort she’d put into doing so, had held her hair away from her face as she’d paid for those efforts in the lavatory not twenty minutes later.
Had he done that to her?
“If you are pregnant, we’ll figure something out, Ellie.” Guilt rode him hard. “You have to know I won’t leave you to deal with this on your own.”
“I won’t have an abortion.” For the first time that day her voice had strength and she met him square in the eyes. “I won’t do that.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to.” Ty winced. Had she thought he would when they worked day and night to save babies?
“I’m sorry.” She turned away from him, stared out the window, her hands clenching and unclenching in her lap. “I didn’t mean to imply that you would. I was just stating a fact.”
“I understand.”
He did. If she was pregnant, her entire life would change. His, too, but Ellie’s in a more immediate way as her body grew with their baby.
Their baby. In his mind, she was already pregnant.
Ellie was pregnant.
In his heart, he knew she was. He’d been around animals his entire life, had dealt with nature on the ranch. He should have recognized the possibility of her being pregnant when they’d been on the plane and she’d been sick.
Then again, she’d written off her illness as a nervous stomach so perhaps he could be forgiven.
“Do you even want kids, Ty?”
Her voice was tiny, vulnerable, so full of need that he pulled into the parking lot of a general mart a
nd killed the truck engine, rather than driving to the other side of town to the chain pharmacy where they might have a little anonymity. They probably wouldn’t have, but it had been a thought.
He undid his seat belt and turned to her. “I can’t say that I’ve given much thought to the idea of having kids, Ellie. Maybe I thought I would someday, but up to this point in my life, taking care of the babies at Angel’s has been enough.”
She nodded as if she understood. Perhaps she did. Perhaps she felt the same.
“But if you are pregnant with my child, I will want our baby and I will do right by you and our child. Don’t doubt that.”
“With your …” Her startled gaze met his, wide-eyed and full of shock. “There’s no possibility of my being pregnant by anyone other than you.”
“Not what I meant.” He raked his fingers through his hair, wondering if he was destined to repeatedly say the wrong thing today. “Let’s go buy the test. See if there’s a reason for us to discuss this further and we’ll go from there, okay?”