Sitting up on the side of the bed, he nodded. He could take a hint. She really did want him to leave.
“Or I could heat up some leftovers from last night.”
“Liver, broccoli and asparagus after midnight?”
She nodded.
What was wrong with him that he’d rather eat his three least favorite foods in the early-morning hours than go get Chinese takeout?
“Okay, sounds good.” He wasn’t lying. The thought of spending more time with her did sound good.
Because he wanted more from Emily than just sex.
He always had wanted more from Emily than just sex.
He wanted her in his life.
Just this time, they wouldn’t make the mistake of marriage.
* * *
Why had Emily offered to heat up leftovers for Lucas? She berated herself over and over as she pulled plastic containers from her refrigerator.
She should have made him leave. He was a big boy. He wouldn’t have starved. He’d obviously been feeding himself for the past five years just fine without her.
He’d been doing just fine on a lot of things without her.
Because his body was honed to a lean muscle machine. He’d always been fit, but he’d taken his physique to a higher level.
Which she’d thoroughly appreciated when it came to the man’s endurance and stamina. He was a truly phenomenal lover.
Not because of his body, although that was certainly easy on the eye. No, it was what he did to her body, how he looked at her as if she were the most desirable thing he’d ever seen, as if he couldn’t kiss her, touch her, be inside of her nearly enough if he spent the rest of his life trying. It was in the combination of desperation, awe and tenderness in which he touched her. As if she were precious and he couldn’t quite believe he was with her, touching her. Those were the things that made him a phenomenal lover.
He made her feel special.
He had before, too.
Which was how she’d ended up giving him her virginity despite the fact she’d intended to wait until marriage. An outdated view, she knew and openly admitted, but she’d thought it a gift she’d wanted to save for her husband.
She’d been as desperate for consummation as he’d been and they’d never even discussed marriage on the afternoon he’d surprised her by coming by her apartment earlier than expected. She’d been reading a nursing magazine and he’d walked in, kissed her, and even before they’d gone to her bedroom, she’d known she wasn’t going to stop him that time as she had before. She’d known she was desperately in love with him and wanted him to be her first even if she’d known he was wildly out of her league.
He’d proposed a month later and they’d married the month after that. Everything had been rushed, but it had been what Lucas had wanted and she’d been so ecstatic that she’d just gone along for the ride.
In hindsight, she realized she should have known better.
They’d been as different as night and day.
“What are you thinking about?”
She spun toward his voice. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been standing there opening and closing that plastic lid over and over for the past five minutes.”
“Oh.” But she didn’t tell him she’d been thinking about them. She probably didn’t have to. After the past two nights, he probably had a pretty good idea what weighed on her mind. “I don’t like you, you know.”
“That’s what you were thinking about?”
“I don’t want to date you,” she added, ignoring his question.