Sizzling Nights with Dr. Off-Limits

“You’re not so bad.”

“But you don’t really want to be with me.”

No, she didn’t. Yet she did.

“You have to admit, our being together is pretty crazy.”

“Crazier things have happened than you and me getting back together.”

Back together? Where had that come from?

“We’re not back together, Lucas.”

“Maybe we should.”

She shook her head. “No, we shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” She struggled to come up with a verbal answer, but a thousand reasons floated just beyond her tongue’s reach. She knew they did.

“It’s not something we have to decide at this moment, Emily. But I’ve told you a dozen times how much I want you in my life. You need to think about what you want.”

“I can’t do this, Lucas. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

Had she really just said that while on top of a tour bus with a bunch of tourists? Sure, the closest ones were a few seats up, but this wasn’t a place for a private conversation.

Concern darkened his face. “You’re getting motion sick?”

“Us, not the tour bus.” Although, suddenly she couldn’t do that anymore, either. Fortunately, the bus pulled over to a stop. Emily stood and headed to the front of the bus and the stairs that would lead her out of it.

She took off walking down the street, glad they were in a part of the city she recognized and that wasn’t too many blocks from where she lived.

“Emily, please don’t leave me like that.”

He’d followed her. Of course he’d followed her. Had she really thought he wouldn’t? Had she even wanted him not to?

She was the problem. Her and her mixed-up emotions.

She wanted him, but she didn’t want him. Hadn’t her crazy emotions been a problem before, too? She’d not been able to stop the tears, to control the mood surges that had caused her to pick fights with him. Her hormones had been all over the place. She didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to think about the past, about her relationship with Lucas and how everything had fallen apart. About why everything had fallen apart.

Berating herself and her weakness where he was concerned, she kept walking without answering him.

He grabbed her arm, halting her. “What’s wrong, Emily? Talk to me. Please talk to me.”

Now fighting tears that she had no idea where they came from, she shook her head, pulled loose and resumed walking.

He stayed beside her but didn’t try to stop her again.

When they reached her building, she turned to him.

“I’m sorry, Lucas. I feel I’m an emotional wreck these days and I just...I just had to get off the bus.” She didn’t say and away from him, but the words dangled between them.

He studied her. “I’ve done this to you, haven’t I?”

She shrugged. “I’d be lying if I said I was expecting you to show back up in my life. I wasn’t prepared for a second emotional roller-coaster ride with you. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want my normal, calm life back.”

“You were happier before I came back into your life?”