It Started at Christmas...

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LANCE KNELT BESIDE the grave, thinking himself crazy for being at a cemetery at this time of night. The show hadn’t ended until after nine, and by the time he’d realized where he’d been headed it had been almost eleven.

He hadn’t consciously decided to go to Shelby’s grave, but it’s where his car had taken him. Maybe it was where he needed to go to put things into proper perspective.

Because for a few minutes he’d allowed himself to look into McKenzie’s eyes while she’d sung to him and he’d acknowledged the truth.

He was in love with her.

Right or wrong, he loved her.

And she loved him. Perhaps he’d always known she felt that way, had seen the truth in her eyes when she’d looked at him, had felt the truth in her touch, in her kiss.

She looked at him the way her mother looked at Yves. The way his mother looked at his father. The way his grandmother looked at his grandfather.

Tonight, while she’d sung to him, McKenzie had looked at him with her heart shining through every word.

In the past she’d fought that feeling, had been determined not to allow herself to be hurt by making the mistakes her parents had made. Tonight she’d put everything on the line and he’d felt exhilarated to realize she was there for him, that she loved him and wanted him.

Then reality had set in.

He wasn’t free to accept her love, to return her love. He’d vowed his love to another he owed everything to.

And he’d resented his vow. He’d resented Shelby.

The guilt of that resentment sickened him.

“Forgive me, Shelby. Forgive me for that night. Forgive me for not keeping you safe,” he pleaded over the grave, much as he had many times in the past.

“Forgive me for still being here when you’re not.”

Wasn’t that the crux of the matter?

He’d lived and Shelby hadn’t.

How many times had he wished he could give his life for hers?

Standing at this very graveside, he’d vowed that his heart would always belong to her, that he’d never love another, never marry another. Even at seventeen he hadn’t been so naive as to think he’d spend his life alone, so he had dated over the years, had been in relationships, but not once had he ever been tempted to sway from his promise to Shelby.

Until tonight.

Until McKenzie.

With McKenzie everything had changed.

With McKenzie he wanted everything.

Because he really did want McKenzie.

“Forgive me, Shelby. Forgive me for the way I feel about McKenzie. You’d like her, you know. She’s a lot like what you might have been at her age. She loves to run, just as you did. And she’s a doctor, just as you always planned to be. And I love her, just as I planned to always love you.”

Guilt ripped through him.

He swiped at moisture on his face.

This was crazy. Why was he here? Then again, he felt crazy. He’d told everyone at the Senior Citizen Center his most guarded secret. He’d told them he’d essentially murdered Shelby.

The authorities hadn’t seen it that way. Neither had Shelby’s parents or his own family. She’d been eighteen to his seventeen. She’d been caught drinking in the past, he’d been a stupid kid trying to fit in with her older friends, but he knew that he shouldn’t have been drinking or driving.