COMING HERE HAD been a mistake.
Jude had thought going to Charles and Grace’s engagement party would be okay, that he could deal with seeing his cousin.
He’d been wrong.
He’d rather be in the middle of a burning building than in the same room as Charles.
Time hadn’t changed that.
Jude supposed it never would.
He finished talking to family member after family member who cornered him on his way to get his drink, and finally made it back to where Sarah patiently waited. He’d felt her watching him, and he’d bristled, not wanting her to see beneath the surface. Not that the surface was shiny and attractive.
Far from it. But what was beneath was bitter and hurt and didn’t want to be in this room full of partygoers.
“Are you embarrassed to be here with me?”
He cut his gaze to her. Why had he said he’d come? He should have let her come and been sitting in his apartment, watching the sunset over the city. That would have been relaxing, enjoyable, pleasant, not this.
“You know that’s not the case,” he finally said, wishing she’d say she wanted to go home.
“Then why are you acting so weird?”
Because seeing Charles laughing, touching another woman—her hand, her back, her face—and looking at another woman with love felt all kinds of wrong. Felt like a betrayal to Nina.
How could he? Nina had loved Charles. Had died giving birth to his twins.
Had broken Jude’s heart.
Charles had moved on, was in love with Grace, was going to raise Nina’s children with Grace, was happy.
His cousin had found genuine joy in life again.
Joy in love again.
Which made Jude itch to escape because he knew how quickly that joy could be ripped away.
Being here felt wrong, felt like a betrayal to Nina’s memory, like a betrayal to himself.
Maybe last night with Sarah had initiated that sense of betrayal, of guilt.
He’d been with other women, but they’d meant nothing.
Sarah meant something.
A whole lot of something.
That scared the hell out of him.
He wanted away from this party.
Everyone was celebrating love and happiness. Had Charles forgotten how quickly that could change?
How quickly how all hope could disappear?
Not that Nina had loved Jude. Not as more than a friend.
Neither did he fool himself that Sarah loved him.