“I...” She took a deep breath. “I really appreciate you going with me to Tennessee, Ryder. I know how busy you are and truly if you ever need my help with anything, I’ve got your back.”
Was that why she’d sought him out? To thank him again for agreeing to go with her? He probably shouldn’t have for his own peace of mind, but still felt it was the honorable thing to do.
“Knowing I don’t have to worry about you getting the wrong idea or having unrealistic expectations from the weekend is such a relief,” she rushed on. “That’s why I had considered going the hired escort route, so I didn’t have the messiness of inviting someone who wouldn’t understand that I need the relationship to appear real even though I’m not interested in a real relationship.”
Which was good for him to keep in mind. He didn’t want a relationship with a woman on the rebound. McKenzie didn’t want a real relationship with him. Maybe, despite the fact he found her physically attractive, they could be friends after Tennessee rather than his having to ignore her.
He’d like that, he realized.
Because he liked McKenzie.
Which was exactly why they couldn’t be friends after they returned from Tennessee.
* * *
What had she done? McKenzie wondered for the thousandth time since she and Ryder had boarded the plane.
She must be crazy to think she could pull this off, to convince her family that she and Paul had broken up, but that she was ecstatic about it as she was now happily dating her colleague, Dr. Ryder Andrews.
No. Big. Deal.
A piece of cake.
Smooshed cake, but cake.
She could do this, could interact with her family all weekend, smile lots, pretend Ryder was the man of her dreams, and that she was over-the-moon happy in their relationship, that she had no remnant feelings for Clay or Paul. Although, she was beginning to wonder what it was about her that made men date her for years, then dump her.
Two men she’d devoted years of her life to and both had ultimately moved on. Was she so unlovable? She hadn’t thought so, but if she was the one who kept getting dumped that must mean something.
She’d dated only a few other times. Those had all been short-term relationships and she couldn’t recall who had quit talking to whom. Was she batting one hundred per cent dumpage?
Ugh. She should probably do some long, hard thinking on that, figure out what was wrong with her that drove men away. But first things first.
She had to ride in this airplane for nineteen hundred and seventy-four miles from Seattle to Nashville.
Ten million, four hundred and twenty-two thousand, seven-hundred and twenty feet.
Not that she was counting.
Flying terrified her.
They’d not even taken off yet and she was already clamoring to get out of the plane but trying not to let Ryder know he’d gotten himself into more than he’d bargained for.
Would he have still gone had he known she’d probably have multiple panic attacks over flying during their travels?
He’d probably go back to avoiding her the moment they returned to Seattle. Which was sad as she’d really enjoyed the times their paths had crossed the past two weeks.
Taking a deep breath, she told herself she had this, all of this; and in particular, her current situation of being strapped into an airplane seat. She’d flown multiple times in the past and always landed safely, right?
Yes, she’d fought a horrific anxiety monster each time, but she had survived, and she would this flight, too.
Throat tight, she glanced over at where Ryder read something on his phone, hoping that looking at him would distract her from the clawing at her composure.
For now, she’d keep a brave face on and remind herself why she was on the plane.
Yeah, she knew why she was doing this crazy trip to Tennessee.
What she couldn’t understand was why Ryder had been willing to adjust his already long hours to work patients in ahead of time so he could easily take off a few days to go with her? Had he needed an excuse to take a break from work that badly?