Why didn’t she just tell him how she was? Whether or not she missed him? Ever thought of him? Why didn’t she just tell him whether or not there had been any unwanted repercussions to their picnic rendezvous?
Unwanted.
If Madison was pregnant, would she want their child?
He didn’t want children. Well, maybe not so much that he didn’t want them, just that he knew better than to think he should have any, should risk putting a kid through what he’d been through. He never wanted to risk being like his father.
Thank goodness he’d gotten to spend time with his mother during the summers, that he’d gotten to visit with his grandfather. He’d always liked to think he was more like his granddad than his father, but after his father’s comment Levi’s own determination to prove he wasn’t, and his subsequent failure, he knew better. But if Madison was pregnant, he’d cling to the hope that his grandfather’s blood ran strong in his child or that his child took after Madison’s family.
If she was pregnant, he’d support whatever decision she made. If she wanted an abortion, he’d support that. Somehow. If she wanted to keep their baby, well, he’d support that, too.
The thought of Madison not wanting their baby had him pausing. He didn’t want her to be pregnant, so why did the thought of her aborting cause his insides to constrict, to reject that idea as unacceptable? Why did he thoroughly hope that if she was pregnant, she’d want their child?
What he really wanted, though, was for her not to be pregnant because every time he looked at her guilt filled him. Guilt that he’d put her in such a position.
He hadn’t intentionally risked getting her pregnant. Getting a condom out of his wallet hadn’t occurred to him.
But it should have.
They had to talk.
Closing the distance between them with a couple of long strides, he grabbed her wrist, caught her off guard. Turning to Karen, he apologized. “I’ll bring your nurse back after we’ve had a word or two.”
“Fine,” Karen agreed, looking more pleased than upset at his high-handedness. “About time, if you ask me.”
“No one asked.”
Madison grimaced at his growled words, pulling her wrist free. “Don’t talk to my best friend like that. And don’t touch me. Ever.”
She wasn’t going to make this easy. Not that he’d expected her to. Not really. He didn’t deserve her to.
“We need to talk.” He gestured toward an empty patient room and was relieved she went into the room so he didn’t have to toss her over his shoulder and carry her in.
“You’ve barely said a word to me for the past month,” she reminded him, eyes narrowed as he closed the door behind him, “and now you want to talk so desperately it can’t wait until after work?”
She had a point. But he’d purposely not looked into her big green eyes, purposely not let himself remember the emotion in their depths. Today, when he’d stepped out of the elevator, made eye contact, he’d been a goner.
“This is crazy. Just leave me alone, Levi.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “I mean, Dr. Fielding. We’ve nothing left to say to each other. Not personally, and if this is a professional conversation, you need to work on your people skills.”
“Don’t deny that we need to talk,” he growled between gritted teeth, wondering how it was possible for her to swing his emotions so back and forth.
“The opportunity to talk has come and gone.” Her chin lifted a couple of notches. “I’m on duty and don’t appreciate you manhandling me.”
Levi paled. He didn’t have to have a mirror to know his skin had gone pasty white. He didn’t manhandle women. Ever.
He raked fingers that trembled through his hair, took a deep breath. “Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night?” She blinked at him.
“Yes, tomorrow night. The grand opening gala we’ve been working on for the past month. We have a date, remember?”
Her mouth dropped open. “You still want me to go to the opening as your date?”
Levi stared straight into her eyes, refused to let her look away. “I haven’t made other arrangements. Have you?”
The flash in her eyes said she considered telling him that, yes, she had. Or maybe she was considering telling him to take a trip down south. Way down south and to say hello to the devil while he was there.
“So…” she glared “…my going is more about convenience?”