“And you believe that’s what he really wanted?”
Jill sighed. “Yeah, I know that’s what he wanted. Courtesy of his ex-wife, Rob has a wall around his heart that he’s not going to let me or any other woman through. Besides he hates lots of press attention, and I’m a darn media magnet. He’d rather walk across hot coals as to take this hellish ride with me.”
And she’d wondered a few times if knowledge of what she’d be going home to had played a role in his pushing her away? He truly shied away from publicity except in regards to his productions. A relationship between them would cause a feeding frenzy among the media.
She’d meant what she said. She didn’t want a man who was ashamed of her, who wasn’t willing to let the world know she was his. Nor did she want a man who could willingly send her away with another man. Rob Lancaster hadn’t been the man for her.
But as soon as the press quit following her, she planned to start a search for her Mr. Right. So what if she had a feeling they’d all fall short in comparison to Rob? She only hoped she could make room in her heart for this Mr. Right she planned to someday find.
“Oh, it’s coming on,” Jessie cooed as the theme music Jill had come to hate filled the room. Something along the lines of Love Is In The Air. Which had to be better than the old episodes of Law and Order she could now quote from memory. She couldn’t bring herself to actually watch Rob’s old films from his acting days, but watching Benjamin Bratt as a character who existed in her law enforcement world provided comfort to her aching heart, made her believe she’d find a man worthy of her love.
Nausea churned the popcorn in her stomach. Uh-oh. Maybe she’d better lay off eating anything else.
For that matter, had she ate anything today? A bagel early this morning, but nothing since. She probably wouldn’t have indulged in the popcorn if Jessie hadn’t had a bowl and soda waiting on the coffee table when she’d finished changing out of her uniform and into a pair of sweats and T-shirt.
A Got Milk t-shirt.
She’d seen the identical-to-Rob’s shirt in a T-shirt shop and had stopped the patrol car to go inside to purchase one in her size. Completely and utterly stupid, and Dan had totally laughed his butt off at her, but wearing it made her somehow feel closer to Rob. Like the old Law and Order episodes did.
Where was he tonight? With some Hollywood socialite working off his abundant testosterone? Or was he alone watching the opening to the show they’d helped create?
She probably didn’t want to know the answer because the thought of him with another woman might drive her to insanity. She chose to ignore that he would move on, would have other women in his life, in his bed. Probably already had.
She choked on a piece of popcorn she hadn’t realized she’d tossed into her mouth.
“You okay?” Jessie set down her fizzing soda.
“Fine,” she muttered before taking a long sip of her drink to wash down any remaining food in her throat. “Just fine.”
And she would be. Eventually.
Just as soon as she forgot Rob.
Did one’s heart ever forget?
Jill watched while her face filled the screen. It was a clip of her right before she’d left the castle.
“You can tell I’ve been crying,” she complained. “I look awful. Why didn’t they fix my make-up?”
“Maybe that’s the look JP was going for when he dragged you in front of the camera,” Jessie mused, causing Jill to glance at her sister.
“JP wanted me to look bedraggled and upset?”
Jessie shrugged. “You told me he and Rob were good friends in addition to being co-producers for the show. Like, maybe, he wanted his pal to see how heartbroken you were.”
“JP was one of the reasons Rob pushed me away.”
Jessie shrugged again. “Whatever.”
Jill’s gaze went back to the screen. A segment on Jeff and the real princess’ “honeymoon” played, ending with Jeff on his knees proposing to the woman he confessed to having fallen in love with when he’d met her in Central America. Isabella accepted, muttering words of love and what was the point of being royalty if she couldn’t make changes to some of her country’s more backward laws. In a segment filmed later, Isabella discussed plans to launch a women’s rights initiative; while Jeff headed up a health program to insure all the children in her country received proper immunizations and well-child care. The princess never looked happier. Neither had the beaming man next to her. Love and pride shined in Jeff’s eyes while he watched Isabella charm the camera.
They sure hadn’t dragged out the suspense of how the honeymoon week had gone. Confused Jill looked at her watch. There was still forty-five minutes of airtime. So what was going to play during the remaining time?
A commercial came on. Maybe she’d just go on to bed and forget watching the rest. What was the point in torturing herself with more memories of Rob?
“Want another soda?” she asked when she stood, stretching her tight, achy muscles. She’d emptied her glass at some point.
“Sure.” Jessie handed her the almost empty glass. “I’ll have diet.”