Their baby was lucky to have him, too.
Not really. Look at what a great start to being a dad he’d already made. Then again, wasn’t being out of the picture what he believed was the best for his child? For Savannah?
He shifted through the cards, faster and faster, building the stacks in front of him, until only two cards remained.
He’d not been able to protect his mother from his father’s abuse, nor had he been able to protect her from herself. His very existence had driven her to end her life.
He couldn’t protect Savannah from being like his mother and he’d rather die than drive her to that state of unhappiness, to destroy a child’s self-esteem and sense of lovability, the way his parents had his.
Savannah deserved so much better.
His own parents hadn’t loved him. How could he ever expect someone else to love him? To really deep down love him?
He played the last two cards and stared at the game he’d just won.
Yay for him. He’d just won at Solitaire.
Which pretty much summed up his life expectations.
His head became too heavy to hold up and he dropped his face into his hands.
He could win at being alone.
He might lose if he tried another life game. The stakes were certainly a lot higher. The possible casualties tragic.
His life goal had been a game of Solitaire.
Because he’d thought he wasn’t worthy of being part of a team, not outside his career.
He and Savannah had been a team. A good one. When he’d gotten the job offer in Nashville, he’d almost said no because he hadn’t wanted to leave her.
Which had scared the hell out of him and put him into defensive panic mode.
He glanced up, stared at the cards through blurry eyes.
He’d devastated Savannah, had seen the walls she’d built at his betrayal. She’d cared for him and he’d hurt her. She didn’t need him and wouldn’t risk letting him behind those walls again.
But he needed to be behind them.
How was he supposed to convince her to love him the way she loved their baby? That he wanted to spend the rest of his life being a team player? Being on her team and always having her back? And knowing that she’d always have his? That they’d love their baby and protect it from the harsher realities of the world together?
He scooped up the cards. Maybe he’d start with asking her to play him in a game of cards.
A game with really high stakes.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SAVANNAH SHOULDN’T BE doing this.
But she had made a promise.
A promise she intended to keep, no matter how difficult doing so felt. She gripped the phone as the other end of the line rang.
“Savannah?”
Charlie’s voice sounded so good. Better than it should have. And worried. Very worried.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.