To tell her that when the officer had shown up on his doorstep, all he’d been able to think of had been getting to Liz? Of telling her how much he loved her and needed her in his life?
“What are you still doing here? Didn’t I tell you to go home and rest?”
Adam straightened, turned to meet Larry’s eyes. He hadn’t heard the doctor come up the hallway, had been too lost in his own thoughts. “Would you leave without seeing Liz if you were me?”
“Probably not, but she doesn’t need to be upset,” Larry repeated Mona and Kelly’s warnings.
Did everyone think he planned to go in and cause a fight? Surely they knew him better than that?
“She’s been through a great deal and has lost consciousness again. She has a concussion and her ankle is broken. Whatever’s going on between the two of you, and I have a horrible suspicion I know exactly what it is, tonight isn’t the time to go into it.”
“You should mind your own business,” Adam started, then rubbed his jaw at Larry’s pointed look. “The truth is,” he admitted, “I told her we were finished.”
Larry’s brows rose and he gave a disappointed shake of his head. “Shouldn’t you have told her the truth?”
“I made a mistake. A big mistake. You just can’t imagine the hell it is not knowing what the future holds, whether or not I’ll just put Liz right back to where she was with Gramps. Liz shouldn’t have to go through that a second time.” Adam stated his fears out loud for the first time. “I need to know she’s OK. I care about her. You know that.”
“I know.” Larry slapped his arm. “Like I said, you should have told her everything and let her decide for herself what she wanted for her future.”
“But what if…?” What if she’d chosen to walk away?
Adam gulped. Was that why he’d put Liz through all this? Because he’d been afraid when push came to shove she’d leave him? Or had he been more afraid she wouldn’t leave and he’d be forced to see the pain in her eyes when and if she was forced to take care of him?
“What if…?” Larry prompted.
“Nothing.” Adam shook his head. “I believed I was doing the right thing. Stupid, I know, but being told you have MS does funny things to a person’s ability to think clearly.”
“Apparently.” Larry sighed, glanced down the hallway at two nurses heading their way. “Look, we’ve been friends for a long time, and you know I have your best interests at heart. But Liz is my patient and I owe her certain courtesies—like respecting her wishes regarding visitors.” Larry ran his fingers across his forehead. “We’ve all had a long day. Go home, get some rest. If Liz wakes up, she’s not going to be up to a confrontation with you. She needs rest. You need rest. I’m going to run the dynamic duo out of her room so she can get that rest.” His gaze met Adam’s. “I don’t want you upsetting my patient. Or getting upset yourself. You can bend over backwards to make up with Liz when you’re both more up to it.”
“You want me to just leave her?”
“I promise I’ll take good care of her for you, Adam.”
“But what if she needs…?” He started to say “me”, but hesitated. What if she needed him? If she did, would she even ask for him after everything that he’d said and done?
“You could sleep in the doctors’ lounge,” Larry suggested. “I’ll wake you if there’s any change or if she asks for you.”
The doctors’ lounge. Would there be any point? How could he possibly sleep after tonight’s events?
“Or if I think she needs you,” Larry added perceptively. “Rest, Adam. I can give you a mild sedative if you need something to take the edge off.”
Adam shook his head. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t want to be drugged. Neither am I leaving the hospital. If Liz needs me, I want to be close.”
Adam waited until he saw Liz’s watch dragons leave her room, courtesy of Larry. He suspected Larry knew he was there, but his friend avoided looking in his direction and Adam appreciated that.
Knowing the glass walls that allowed the intensive care nurses to see Liz would also allow them to see him, he slipped into her room anyway.
He’d be quick, but if someone noticed they wouldn’t think too much about him being in the room with her, wouldn’t ask him to leave. Although people knew there were problems, they didn’t know specifics of his and Liz’s relationship. Not unless Liz had told them, and he doubted that.
He stood next to her hospital bed, soaking in the sight of the wires and attachments to her body. Her hair was pulled back from her face and he reached out to run his finger along the discolored skin beneath the sutured cut on her forehead.
In the dim light, she looked tiny, fragile, helpless. The beeping of her monitors pulsed around him like a living thing.
Her cheek felt silky smooth beneath his fingertip. As with any time he touched her, electricity sparked low in his gut.
Just as protectiveness also washed through him.
“Oh, Liz.” If he could take on her pain, ease her suffering by taking it on himself, he would without batting an eyelash.