“Why not?”
He gestured to the opposite side of the swing. “There wouldn’t be any place for me to sit.”
Liz followed his gaze to her feet and wiggled her bare toes. “You know I’m not going to be helpless for ever, right? That I’m going to be walking on my own again soon and you aren’t going to be able to boss me around like this?”
“I know. That’s why I figure I’d better make the most of it while you’re at my mercy.” He hugged her to him, breathed in her familiar scent. “I love you, Liz.”
She pushed against his chest. “Stop saying that.”
“Never. I’m going to tell you every day for the rest of our lives.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why?”
“Because it’s true.”
“How can you say that when you’ve spent the past month pushing me away when I needed you so much? When you don’t want me pregnant with your baby?”
“Because I was a fool and thought I could do this on my own, Liz. And the truth is I can do it on my own, but I don’t want to. Part of me still believes that’s selfish as hell because you shouldn’t be tied to a man who doesn’t know what his future holds.”
“None of us know what our future holds,” she pointed out, but without the bitterness he’d grown accustomed to hearing over the past twenty-four hours.
“Your accident made me realize that. Each and every day of life is a blessing that should be lived to its fullest.”
Adam used his feet to keep them gently moving back and forth. They swung in silence for a long time, Liz eventually relaxing against him.
Although the sun hadn’t reached its peak in the sky, he’d worked up a sweat mowing her yard. Fortunately her yard wasn’t that large and although his T-shirt clung to him he didn’t think he was too gross.
Apparently not as Liz laid her head on his shoulder.
“Tell me about your MS.”
His heart sang at her request. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
So he told her everything. From the first time he’d noticed his blurry vision, to the tingles in his fingers, to how terrified he’d been when he’d gone blind in his right eye. How he’d thought if he loved her he would end their relationship and let her have a life without being tied to an ill man. How he had struggled with actually letting her go.
“The night you came here that you made love to me, what happened that day, Adam?”
“Dr Winters confirmed my diagnosis.” He traced his fingers over her arms, wondering how it could feel so right to dump all this on Liz, to tell her everything in his heart. “Up to that point I’d held out hope that I didn’t really have MS and all this would go away.”
She twisted her neck to look at him. “You’d been drinking. I could smell it on you and knew something was wrong.”
“A little. I needed liquid courage for what I had to do. Thought I had to do.”
Her eyes glowed like golden honey. “You came to tell me we were finished?”
“That’s what I told myself, because I couldn’t face the truth. That I needed you to hold me so I’d know the world hadn’t gone completely crazy.” Pushing his luck, Adam slid his hand to hers and laced their fingers. “I needed you that night, Liz. I always need you. I know I betrayed your trust, but if you’ll forgive me, I’ll spend every breath I take re-earning it, proving to you that what we have is real.”
She stiffened, but didn’t pull away, didn’t say anything, and they sat in the swing until the sun was high in the sky and beat down on them.
“I’m ready to go in now.” Her purposely aloof voice told him everything. She wasn’t ready to forgive him.
He nodded, stood up with her in his arms and carried her into the house. “The sofa or your bedroom?”
Her quick glance at him let Adam know exactly where her mind was. And where it wasn’t.
“The sofa.”