Tonight, at this moment, he needed her, wanted her, looked at her like she was everything he’d ever wanted. That thought was heady and one that sparked her into action.
She cupped his face, making him look at her. “You’re not taking advantage of me.”
“I’ll just hurt you, Chelsea. It’s what I do, even when I don’t mean to.” His gaze held hers and already she could see him throwing walls up.
“Please, don’t,” she pleaded. “Don’t ruin what just happened by telling me how wrong our kiss was or how we can never have a relationship because of all the bad things that have happened or might happen.”
He opened his mouth, and she shook her head.
His eyes took on an increasingly tortured appearance, but he didn’t move away, didn’t launch into an argument on the detriments of office dating. Instead, he cradled her face and gently stroked his thumb over her cheek.
She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to risk him moving his hand away. Such tenderness was conveyed in his simple touch. Tenderness that said he cared and ached for what she could give him.
He eyed her with torn emotions, but what shone through was his need. That need undid her, made her resolve weak, her determination strong. Not sexual need, although lust was there in abundance. No, what she saw was a need to feel alive, to feel connected with another human being, to not be alone. She recognized the emotion well and hated it that the nasty feeling had a hold of Jared.
His thumb stilled against her face, and he took a deep breath. “Tell me to go, Chelsea, please, because I don’t want to leave. God help me, I don’t want to go.”
“Then don’t,” she whispered, not bothering to attempt to hide what was in her heart. She couldn’t have anyway. Not when she overflowed with love. “Stay with me. Let me hold you.”
His jaw tightened. “I won’t use you. You deserve better than that. I won’t risk hurting you.”
“I’ll hurt if you leave.”
He closed his eyes, torment on his face.
A thousand thoughts ran through her mind. If he left, where would he go? What would he do? Who would hold him while he fought his grief? His guilt? Would he end up shrouded behind even more emotional barricades? But if he stayed, how would she let him go in the morning and pretend nothing had happened if that’s what he wanted? Because she’d never want to let Jared go.
When looking back on her life, she knew this moment would stand out as monumental. If she didn’t seize the opportunity to love Jared, to give to him even if he could never give back to her, she’d regret her decision, just as she’d regretted letting him walk away after she’d kissed him all those years ago.
Laura or not, too young or not, she should have t
old him how she’d felt.
No matter if he used her to distract himself from Connie’s death. No matter if he left her bed in the morning only to ignore her at the office. No matter if they never had anything else beyond tonight. Even if Jared took one look at her back and felt revulsion, she wanted him to stay.
She would take what fate gave, which was one moment to the next, and in this particular moment she was right where she wanted to be. In Jared’s arms.
Connie Black’s voice whispered in her ear, “Grab what you want and make it happen. If you love the boy, let him know. Show him what’s in your heart.”
She stood on tiptoe and moved to within millimetres of his mouth. His eyes had opened and raged with an inner battle between logic and need.
“I want to love you, Jared. Stay with me.”
Despite reason warning he’d regret his actions, Jared wasn’t going anywhere.
Not tonight.
He couldn’t face the emptiness of his heart.
Was that why he’d held onto his anger at Laura for so long? Why he’d held on to his guilt? Because without it he had nothing left to feel? To make him feel alive?
At the moment he felt alive.
More alive than he’d ever felt.
Because of Chelsea.
She stared at him with such longing, such sweetness. He wanted to swoop her into his arms and protect her from the world forever.