Why had he told Kristen about his plans that night? Because he’d been so damned sure Melissa would accept and that he’d become a married man.
James snorted. “Technically, she didn’t refuse.”
“Then you’re engaged?” She looked skeptical. “Because with the way you’ve acted I would have sworn things hadn’t gone well.”
Kristen was on a mission. He knew her too well to think she’d let up now that she’d given voice to the questions in her eyes. They’d stayed behind, analyzing data collected from six major trauma hospitals and putting finishing touches on their work. She’d been watching him, biding her time.
“I left before she came home,” he admitted.
“You left?” Kristen’s dark brow rose. “You bought a diamond the size of Texas and left without giving it to her?”
“She didn’t come home. She called and canceled.”
“Canceled?”
He stooped, picked up his pen before giving a nonchalant shrug. “She said something came up with a patient.”
Kristen gave him a speculative look. “Did you ever stop to think that perhaps it really did?”
James shoved away from the work space and paced across the lab, flicking a paper clip along the length of the countertop with his pen. “I’m sure it did.”
Kristen followed him. “Then what’s the problem?”
“That’s just it.” He turned, facing her. “There’s always a patient, always someone who needs her more. She’s a great doctor and gives one hundred percent of who she is to her patients. There’s nothing left for me.”
“Have you told her how you feel?” Kristen touched his shoulder. “That you need her?”
James cringed. He didn’t want Kristen’s sympathy. He didn’t want to be having this conversation. “When was I supposed to do that? She’s always at work.”
“Maybe you should book an appointment.”
He rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”
“I’m serious,” she said, giving him a soft smile. “I’ve never known you to give up so easily.”
“Give up?” he scoffed. “I didn’t give up a damned thing. I walked away.”
“Give up. Walk away. Whatever you want to call it.”
“You don’t understand.” He sounded like a whiny kid.
“You’re right. I don’t. How could a man who will work thirty minutes trying to bring life back to a flat-lining heart walk away from his own heart’s desire?” She touched his face, placing her finger over his mouth when he started to deny what she’d said. “Don’t even say it because we both know she’s who you want. Once upon a time I hoped, but I know hearts.” She let her finger drag across his chin, then fall to her side. “And yours belongs to Melissa.”
She was one of his best friends and a trusted colleague, but he’d never felt anything more for her.
“I’m sorry.” He felt like a heel.
“Don’t be.” Sadness shone in her eyes, but she smiled. “It’s not your fault.”
Why couldn’t he have fallen for Kristen? They had so much in common. In that moment he wondered if he could make himself forget Melissa by focusing on Kristen. What would it feel like to kiss her?
Like he was cheating. Because, no matter what his mind said, his heart did belong to Melissa. He’d not wanted anyone else since first setting eyes on her at a medical meeting they’d both attended on asthma.
He’d made some corny comment about her taking his breath away and she’d offered to do mouth-to-mouth. They’d shared a smile, a laugh, a look full of awareness, and the rest, as they said, was history.
Only their history had taken a drastic turn in the wrong direction.
God, he missed her. Missed the way her eyes opened slowly in the mornings, the way she stretched the sleep from her body, missed the way she said his name when they made love.