She didn’t comment, just clutched the countertop. He didn’t want to hurt her, had never wanted her to hurt. So why was he trying to make her jealous?
Because jealousy meant she cared, and he wanted her to care. But her painful, devastated expression gutted him.
“Look, it can’t be good for the baby for you to get upset.” Actually, her reaction surprised him. If she cared so much, why hadn’t she made an effort to be there for him? He’d told her how much he’d needed her to come home that night. “What is it you want of me, Melissa?”
“To come home,” she immediately responded, almost echoing his former sentiments.
“Sawtooth has never been my home.” That wasn’t completely true. In the beginning, he had been happy wrapped in the warmth of her attention and the life they’d started carving out for themselves. What had changed?
“Because you wouldn’t let it be. How many times did I ask you to give the office a chance? To get to know my patients so you’d understand how I feel about them?”
“That’s just it, Melissa,” he sighed. “I do understand. Which is why I’m back in Nashville. Your patients need you. But not only that.” The thought had hit him with such clarity he felt a fool for not seeing it sooner. “You need them to need you.”
“I need you.”
“Then I feel badly for you.” If he believed her, things would be different, but he didn’t. Words came cheap and actions spoke loud.
“What about the baby?”
Which was the real clincher in all this. The wrench he hadn’t counted on when he’d made the decision to shake up their relationship.
“What about the baby?” he repeated, trying to remain logical and not let his heart lead him astray. He’d focus on the baby he’d never wanted and that he worried she’d never be there for because she’d be running to one patient after another. “We’ll talk to a lawyer and come up with a compromise on custody. A plan we can both live with, hopefully both be happy with. Keeping things civil between us works to everyone’s advantage.”
He managed to sound calm, even though his insides twisted.
Her eyes widened with fear and outrage. “A lawyer?”
Did she expect him to pretend he didn’t know she carried his baby? He may not have wanted to be a father, to carry that kind of responsibility, but no way in hell would he walk away from his child.
Of course, Melissa had no idea he checked on her daily so maybe she believed he had turned his back on her.
“It would be in our best interests for us to have custody legalized.” His baby would have his name. No matter what, he’d insist upon that. “Surely you see that?”
She gawked at him. “Are you saying you’re going to try to take my baby away from me?”
“Our baby,” he reminded her, annoyed that she was trying to cut him out of even that. “And, no, that’s not what I said. Joint custody, Melissa. I’d never keep our child from knowing his or her mother.”
“But you think I might?” she scoffed. “That’s why you want a lawyer?”
“No,” he sighed. “I don’t think you’d try to keep our baby from me. You’ve been honest about your pregnancy, even after I gave you reason not to be.” He studied her for a moment, taking in her glistening eyes. “It couldn’t have been easy to tell me you’re pregnant after I said I was moving out.”
“No,” she admitted, averting her gaze, attempting to hide the raw hurt. “It wasn’t.”
Had she thought he’d stay? That she could live her life just as it was and he’d be there whenever she decided to toss some attention his way? Their baby’s way?
Why wouldn’t she? It’s what they’d been doing for months.
She’d been right about him not saying anything until that fateful night. Which made him wonder why he hadn’t. Had he been willing to accept the status quo just to keep her in his life? Up till that night when he’d discovered another person—their baby—would face the repercussions of his cowardice at facing a lonely, broken heart.
“You had a right to know about our baby.” She bit her lower lip. “I couldn’t not tell you.”
She shivered and he wondered what had run through her mind when she’d told him about their baby.
“Look, it’s late and I haven’t eaten. Do you want to grab a bite to eat?” He glanced around the lab, wondering what the hell he was doing and, better yet, why.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Apparently she questioned the wisdom of their dining together, too. Still, he wanted to get out of the lab, to get her off her feet and some food in her belly.
“We need to talk, to try to figure out what it is we want regarding the baby.” They really did have a lot to discuss. Things they should decide before involving a third party.