“How’s Junior doing?” Debbie handed Jamie’s chart to Melissa.
“Kicking for all he’s worth.” She forced a smile, taking the chart. Although she still didn’t know for certain, she’d taken to calling the baby “he”. James hadn’t corrected her, neither had he batted an eyelash when she bought blue item after blue item.
“What about Mom?”
“She’s holding up.” Holding up, but living inside a glasshouse she expected to shatter around her at a moment’s notice.
“James called to check on you.” Debbie’s gaze bore into her, seeing through the façade Melissa wore.
Not for one minute did Melissa think she was fooling her friend.
“He’s convinced he should have canceled out this semester.” Her friend looked at her thoughtfully. “He seems so besotted with you. How are things at home?”
In some ways home was wonderful. She spent lots of time each evening with James. Occasionally they made house calls together. Occasionally, when he knew the patient, he went alone. But more and more she was routing her patients through the Dekalb emergency room or, if possible, having them wait until the following day before she saw them in the office. Plus, her patients seemed to sense that with her pregnancy she had to cut back and fewer infringed on her evening hours.
But James held back. Emotionally and physically. He refused to discuss Cailee and when she tried, he’d immediately shut her out.
Melissa shrugged in response to Debbie’s question. “He’s the perfect father-to-be, making sure I eat right, keep my feet propped up, rubbing my back.” She wished his magic hands were rubbing right now, because Junior was using her spine for a punching bag, her ribs for a soccer ball. Punch. Kick. Kick.
“I meant between the two of you.”
“Nothing different.” Wasn’t that what he’d said after telling her about Cailee? That nothing had changed? Melissa stretched her spine, hoping to ease the pressure and her heartache. “He plans to leave after the baby is born.”
Debbie’s eyes narrowed. “Do you think he’ll really go?”
Yeah, she thought he would leave. Just last week a realtor had called about a house he’d looked at. In Nashville. Which she refused to think about now. She’d deal with that later, after the baby came. But she worried about how James would handle fatherhood. Would he see Cailee every time he looked at their baby? How could she help him if he refused to talk to her?
He was right. Nothing had changed. They were still holding back from each other.
She swallowed back the thoughts that haunted her night after night. Thoughts that ranged from James walking away from her and the baby to him becoming so besotted with their child that he fought for full custody.
“I should see Jamie now.”
Debbie nodded, letting Melissa change the subject.
“Hi, Jamie,” Melissa said, entering the exam room. “How are you feeling today?”
Debbie had written “Talk” in the chart so Jamie couldn’t have told her why she’d come in.
Jamie had lost weight. Her eyebrows had fallen out months ago, and although she’d finished her chemo, they hadn’t started growing back yet. As with each time Melissa had seen her, Jamie’s eyes were red and puffy as if she spent most of her time crying.
“I’m not sure where to start.” Jamie stared at her hands.
“Are the girls OK?” Melissa prompted, when Jamie visibly struggled to find words.
“Things aren’t good at home.”
“Financially?”
“Money is a problem, but it always has been.” Jamie put her hands under her jeans-clad legs. “After everything you’ve done for me, I don’t know how to say this.”
Melissa’s heart filled with dread. Something bad was going on.
“I’m through.”
Uh-oh. “Through?”
“I’m tired.” Jamie’s eyes beseeched Melissa to understand. “Too tired. I can’t fight this anymore.”