His disappointment was palpable. “Are you scheduled to work tomorrow?”
“Not until Tuesday, but—”
“But you need to go home to do laundry and wash your hair?”
His tone was so sarcastic and unlike anything she’d heard come from his mouth that she was a little taken aback.
“I didn’t say that, but I do need to go home.”
His gaze was steely. “Why?”
“I have things I have to do, Trace. A life there that I’ve been away from all weekend.”
“A life that can’t wait one more day?”
She closed her eyes. She wanted to stay with him, wanted to let him bring her body over the top time and time again, but then she’d be faced with leaving tomorrow. Then, she’d be faced with explaining to Savannah why she needed another night, not that her friend wouldn’t be understanding. Savannah would probably be the opposite and encourage her to go for it.
But every second she spent with Trace made her question more and more how he’d react if she told him about Joss.
Every smile, every touch, every laugh they shared made her crave to see him with their son, to hear and see the two of them interact, laugh, play.
Every time she considered telling Trace she battled guilt and the terror she’d faced as a child at the hands of her father.
She couldn’t spend more time with Trace. She just couldn’t.
“No, it can’t.” She braced herself for whatever his reaction might be, but when he spoke he sounded like his normal self again.
“We would have had a great time, Chrissie. I won’t lie and say I’m not disappointed.”
Sighing in relief, she reached for his hand. “We have had a great time. That I need to go home now doesn’t change that.”
Glancing at her, he considered what she said, then grinned. “You’re right. We have had a great time. Thank you.”
They finished listening to the event farewell then made their way back over to the medical station. They worked side by side, chatted, made a few jokes with the other volunteers who’d stayed to help, but the last few grains of sand quickly fell and soon it was time for Chrissie to go.
She didn’t want to. She wanted to stay, to spend every single second that he’d give her for however long that might be. Silly. She’d already had more than she’d ever dreamed she would just in getting to see him again, to make love to him again.
She’d also learned so many things about him during the hours they’d lain in his sleeping bag talking.
He was an only child. He’d gone to private schools his whole life, including college, and medical school. His father had wanted him in the family business, but Trace had wanted to be a doctor, so he had become one. Bud and Agnes really were his godparents and he considered them the major influences on who he was. His mother had a good heart, but was a social butterfly who lived in the shadows of his father and was content there. Trace never had been. Both his parents were in good health and his grandparents had died of old age.
All things that were important to know about her son’s father’s family.
More guilt hit her.
Before this weekend, she’d never really considered tracking Trace down to tell him about Joss. Not more than in brief little snatches.
By the time she’d realized she was pregnant almost three months had gone by since she’d seen him. He hadn’t contacted her. Not once. She’d had no reason to think he’d have wanted to know about their son. Quite the opposite, really.
She still didn’t.
Just because they shared a dynamic chemistry didn’t mean a thing except that they were highly sexually compatible.
That they most definitely were.
Ugh. She had to stop with this internal battle. There were compelling reasons why she wasn’t going to tell Trace.
Chrissie said goodbye to the volunteers she’d met. Trace got hung up talking to one of them who was considering signing on with Doctors Around the World, and while they talked Chrissie went to track down Agnes and Bud to say her goodbyes. She found Agnes supervising the equipment-rental company breaking down the food service area.