Heart Surgeon to Single Dad
Page 41
“You planning to stay here tonight?”
Without turning to face him, she nodded. “I’m on call, so I planned on going to the computer lab to work on the Harris case. Plus, I want to be close if there are any changes on the Givens baby.”
“Call if you need me.”
A million thoughts ran through her mind. None of which had anything to do with her cases. Heat flooded her and she was glad he couldn’t see her face. But he must have sensed what was on her mind, because when he spoke his voice was low.
“It’s moments like these where I have to remind myself that I promised to leave you alone on a personal level, because right then I almost turned you to face me, Natalie.”
Her breath caught and she squeezed her eyes shut as if that would somehow stop the onslaught of emotions hitting her.
“For the record, I don’t find not touching you easy.”
Neither did she, which was why it was so important they keep a distance.
His words from before struck her. Was he right? Was there no distance great enough to stop her from wanting him?
She did want him, hadn’t stopped wanting him. He was here, right behind her, alone in this private section of the hospital office complex. All she had to do was turn, reach out and touch him, and...and then what?
Her heart pounded in her chest. Her hand fell from the code pad and she turned, met his pale eyes.
He stared at her, seeing what she wasn’t sure because she couldn’t label the confusion swirling within her. She wanted him to disappear, to have never met him, for him to be back in Boston performing his miraculous surgeries.
But even more she wanted him to touch her, to take charge and take what he wanted—what she wanted.
So why wasn’t she reaching out to touch him?
Because if she touched him she had to acknowledge that everything he said was true, that maybe she couldn’t work with him day after day and ignore what was between them. Because pretending she didn’t want him, that Miami had been one big mistake, was a lot easier than acknowledging he was a part of her daily life, and that scared her.
Her lips parted. To say what, she wasn’t sure, just that so much emotion churned within her she needed to let it out somehow. Or maybe she’d been offering a subconscious invitation.
Regardless, Matthew’s gaze didn’t soften—instead it took on that dark and dangerous look that made her wonder how she’d ever thought him v
ulnerable the night before.
“Goodnight, Natalie,” he said. “Great job in surgery today. If there are any unexpected changes, let me know.”
With that, he opened her office door, practically pushed her inside and walked away without a backward glance.
* * *
Dr. Luiz’s retirement party was a huge success. The hospital’s CEO had given quite the toast to the man early on in the evening. Hospital staff, along with VIP members of the medical community and from Memphis’s social and political scene, had been slapping the retiring doctor on the back all evening, and still came up to do so every so often.
At the moment, a couple had interrupted Matthew’s conversation with the older surgeon to tell him how missed he would be at the hospital. Matthew let Dr. Luiz explain that he was only semi-retiring and would still be around the hospital, just significantly scaling back on his duties and no longer overseeing the department.
His semi-retirement was one of the things that made the position work for Matthew. With Dr. Luiz still there part-time and with a second-in-command of Natalie’s caliber, Matthew’s workload wasn’t near as heavy as in Boston. Which gave him more time to spend with Carrie, for them to figure out this new life of theirs.
Maybe he’d get used to the idea of working less and parenting more. Maybe he’d get better at it. Hopefully. His sister had Carrie tonight, and the little girl would have a good time with her cousins. Would be in a home where the adult in the household knew what she was doing.
Something Matthew wondered if he’d ever figure out.
The couple were still chatting with Dr. Luiz, and Matthew spent the time glancing around the crowd, wondering if Natalie was there yet. Sweet and sassy Natalie, who was determined to keep him at arms’ length. Which he should be grateful for. He didn’t need to risk anything—anyone—messing up his new life in Memphis.
He’d gotten a whole lot wrong over the past few months, but moving to Memphis had been right—the best decision he’d made in a long time.
There had only been one negative: Natalie and their strained working relationship.
If he’d known there was even the slightest possibility Memphis Children’s would come through, he’d never have given in to his desire for her.