Wild Like Us (Like Us 8)

“I named her Booger—said in love,” I add quickly while they both break into laughter at my green Booger Baby.

I find the nearest thing to throw, a pair of old dirty hiking socks and I chuck one at Banks and one at Akara.

They laugh more.

“She’s going to break down if you keep making fun of her,” I point out.

Banks strokes the wheel. “I’ll fix her real good.” He’s touching Booger more than he’s ever touched me. The thought sinks my stomach.

Fuck that—my car is not more attractive than me. But Booger is hot old metal.

Akara scoots closer to the vent. “You’re not a piece of crap.” He rubs the dashboard, trying to cage laughter. “You’re not a piece of crap. You’re not a piece of crap.”

We wait in silence.

And then cold air blows out.

I smile. “Told you. She just needs some reassuring.” I’m about to return to my climbing research, but Akara looks disturbed.

“How did that happen?” he asks Banks, probably since Banks is a skilled mechanic and understands cars.

Banks lifts a shoulder. “Maybe somethin’ to do with you putting pressure on the dash.” He makes a face at himself though like that’s bullshit. “Or God.”

Akara leans back. “I don’t like fucking with the dead.”

Because the Jeep belonged to someone who passed away.

“Amen,” Banks says.

I edge toward the middle console. “You’re both overreacting. The spirit of Adam Sully doesn’t live within this car. He’s in the fucking sky and in peace, so you both can stop freaking out.”

I’m actually pretty superstitious, so their uneasiness is making me uneasy. And I love this green Booger too much. If anything, the spirit of my dad’s best friend would only want to protect me.

Banks is driving casually. “I’m not freaking out.”

Akara nods, but he’s busy texting.

What if he’s texting Jenny? I could just ask…as a friend to a friend. Staying close to the middle console between their seats, I say, “So how’d you leave things with Jenny?”

Akara rotates slightly, his deep brown eyes locking onto mine. “Why do you want to know?”

I accidentally glance at the phone.

He already puts two and two together. “I’m not texting Jenny.”

“I just wanted to know if I should expect to see her around. I mean, it’s okay if I do—”

“You won’t,” he says quickly. “She’s not a girlfriend.”

My stomach flip-flops. Not sure exactly what I feel, I just say the truth, “I’m glad that you’re finding time for yourself, Kits.” I lean more towards Banks and tap the back of his headrest. “Banks, I hope you’re finding time to get laid too.”

That seemed casual, right?

The car sobers though. No laughter, no grinning. A strange tension winds through the Jeep. Should I call this part of my life: The Death of All Friendships?

I draw further back.

Banks moves his toothpick with his teeth. “I’m doin’ alright.” He glances in the rearview at me. “Out of the three of us, you’re the one we should probably be concerned about.”

I pull my knee up to my chest. “Because I’m a virgin?”

“Because of what you told me and Akara. That you’d want to lose your virginity to one of us.”

My chest collapses in shock, and my smile flickers in and out because I’m thinking, fuck yes! We’re finally talking about the funhouse! And then oh my fucking God, we’re about to talk about the funhouse.

But Akara suddenly slides Banks a harsh look. I’ve found the tight-lipped one of the two.

Banks goes quiet. He uses one casual hand to turn down a road. Booger bumps over a pothole. And the silence is tearing up my nerves.

I feel like I’m on a swim platform and constantly taking false starts. I just want to rewind.

Go back.

Back.

Please.

“I’m withdrawing my virginity offer,” I say suddenly. “Neither of you need to be concerned about my V-card. If I don’t have a boyfriend again, I can just die with my virginity intact.”

Banks now shoots Akara a glare.

Akara turns to me. “Why do you think you won’t have another boyfriend?”

“I don’t trust people that easily,” I say, resting my chin on my knee. But really, I’m thinking, maybe because the guys I like are the ones who don’t even want me.

“You’ll trust someone enough again,” Akara encourages, but his Adam’s apple bobs, and I wonder if he’s hoping I won’t. I always had the feeling that he didn’t love Will Rochester when I started dating him, but he never told me to break up with him either.

My insides twist. “I’d rather just be friends with you two than ruin that with some virginity thing.”

Akara nods tensely.

Banks barely reacts.

I just take both responses as the damage is done. We’ve crossed the Rubicon, and there’s no turning back. Not even Akara’s “shake the hand, reintroduction trick” could really change that.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I’m headed to Montana, and this endless car ride is going to be four-fifths full of awkward tension that I can’t erase.