I was thinking other things.
Who is this fuckbag?
What’s he doing?
Why isn’t that me?
I start up Booger with heat in my chest, then I tell Akara, “I’m not Sherlock fucking Holmes, but I swear Ryan Reed just asked our girlfriend out.”
“Yep.” Akara stews.
Sulli chokes on shock, then slings herself forward, head between our seats. “What? He just asked me to a work dinner.”
“To Michelangelo’s.” I tighten a hand on the wheel.
“Yeah, a pizzeria.”
Maybe it’s nothing to Sulli, but I couldn’t afford a bill at Michelangelo’s growing up. If that’s the kind of place you shoot the shit with coworkers, then fuck me two ways to sundown, is everyone wasting their paychecks on overpriced, overhyped cardboard?
Akara flips his phone in his hand. “I don’t like him, Sul.”
“You don’t like a lot of the guys who interact with me,” Sulli reminds him. “And I don’t think all of them have hit on me.”
“I like Jack Highland,” Akara defends.
“You hated him at first,” Sulli retorts.
He’s digging himself in a hole.
“What about me?” I ask Sulli. “You think my judgment is clouded by jealousy?”
Akara shoots me a look. “I thought you were on my side, man.”
“I am—”
“Whoa, when did we make sides at all?” Sulli frowns, like she’s being left out.
I almost smile. Good grief, my heart wants to fly out of my body and kiss hers. “A side that exists is the one where we’re protecting you.”
Akara rotates to her with suggestive eyes. “And the one where we’re playing with your pussy and tits.”
Sulli lets out a breathy, “Fuck.” She leans closer to him, and his fingers graze her cheek before he kisses her lips.
Can’t see much more. I keep my gaze on the road.
Akara settles back in his seat. “And Banks is just as jealous as me, don’t let him fudging fool you.”
I almost crack a smile, but talk of fucking Sulli only makes me more protective. A territorial expression crosses Akara’s face. We’re in a closed triad. It’s not welcome two, come all.
I glance at him. “The Rodent thinks she’s single.”
“He’s going to make a move on her tonight,” Akara says tightly.
“The Rodent?” Sulli makes a face at us. “How long have you been calling my coworker a fucking rodent?”
“After the first day,” I confess.
“We don’t like him, Sul,” Akara repeats.
She leans back, fingers to her lips. “Yeah, you said that already. But just so it’s crystal, the only rodent is the mole leaking our private lives.”
“Hey, we hate that rodent too,” Akara says lightly.
Sulli contemplates everything for a long moment. “You really think he was flirting with me? I don’t see that at fucking all.”
I drive onto the freeway. “No offense, but you could never tell when Akara was flirting with you either.”
“But he’s Kits.” Confusion scrunches her face.
Akara grimaces. He’s beating himself up right now. It’s his fault she can’t tell when guys are hitting on her unless they do it with a fucking sledgehammer.
Sulli draws her legs to her chest. “Coach Reed asked me to go over some swim strategies. If he were asking me out, don’t you think he’d end with, it’s a date?”
Akara scratches his neck with his phone. “What if we are wrong, Banks?”
He’s just feeling guilty. In his gut, Akara knows the Rodent wants in our girlfriend’s pants.
“I’d bet my next paycheck he tries to take her to his place after dinner.” Even saying the words churns my stomach. Imagining his hands on Sulli is actually making me physically nauseous.
“I’m not taking that bet,” Akara says, adjusting in his seat. Uncomfortable at the scenario too, and he fists his phone tighter.
“Good, ‘cause I don’t want it to be true.”
Sulli frowns deeper. “What if he does hit on me at the restaurant? Should I not go?”
I ask, “What are you leaning towards?” I want her to make up her own mind. Figure out what she wants to do first. It’s not something for us to decide.
She sits forward again. “I want to respect you two, but I also don’t want to run from what could just be a work meeting because I’m afraid. I think I can fucking handle myself. If he makes a move, I say no.”
Alright, alright, alright.
I nod.
Semper Gumby.
Always flexible. Ready to repel a rodent if the night turns bad.
While I drive, Akara turns more towards Sulli. “We’ll be at the restaurant on-duty, so if you’re uncomfortable and want to bail early, just use a code word and we’ll make an excuse for you to leave.”
“Banana peppers,” Sulli says fast. “No wait, let’s go with something less disgusting.”
We laugh.
Akara snaps his fingers. “Spinach.”
She shoves his arm with a smile. “Kits. I’m being serious.”
“So mushrooms then.”
She grabs his hand on the middle console like they’re about to arm-wrestle. “Cinnamon rolls, and you both better remember it.”
I tell her, “We’d never forget.”
Sulli begins to smile and the light in her eyes lifts to me. Akara tickles her armpit. She squeals and slugs him hard.