“Gloat all you want, Lo,” Ryke says. “I’m still fucked.”
“You ate a burger; you didn’t commit a mortal sin,” Loren retorts.
Sulli looks crushed. His whole regret was about Winona, not her. Ryke was supposed to be vegan. Her face contorts in a series of emotions, some I can’t pull apart.
I step even closer, my body welding with hers and she wraps her arms around my waist. Burying her head in my chest.
It’s alright, mermaid.
After a few minutes, we return to the kitchen and unload some groceries. Sulli is quiet, putting away some squash and zucchini. And then she grabs a Yuengling from the fridge and kicks the door closed.
Before I say a thing, she pops the cap and takes the biggest swig.
My family are drinkers. Whiskey with coffee. Wine with dinner. Beer just because. But I’ve never told anyone to stop because I feared they were abusing alcohol.
I have my own vices that I’ve been trying to kick.
And seeing Sulli turn to alcohol during rough times reminds me of me and my toxic relationship with cigarettes.
I rake a hand over my mouth two times, then drop my palm. “We sharing that?” Not waiting for an answer, I grab the bottle and take a very generous swig.
“We are now.” She wipes her lips with her bicep, then snatches the beer back.
Backdoor suddenly opens.
Perfect fucking timing. I’m not the only one who’s noticed Sulli reaching for alcohol when she’s feeling down.
Akara struts inside and brushes snow off his black hair. He sees me first. “As a parting gift at the security cabin, Donnelly and Quinn pelted me with snowballs.”
I crack a smile. “Sounds about right.”
He sees the beer in Sulli’s hand. “What’s going on?” This isn’t good. Alcohol should not be an indication of what’s wrong with Sulli?
Akara’s head swings to me.
“We should talk upstairs,” I suggest.
He nods, and I take Sulli’s hand in mine.
When we exit the kitchen into the humongous living room, the fake Christmas tree is halfway erected, and I see plastic tubs of holiday décor on the second and third balcony level. Ben and Xander are arguing quietly while they unravel multi-colored lights on the couch.
They go quiet as we pass. I feel their curiosity on us. They know about our triad, but it’s not often Sulli’s younger cousins see us together.
Sulli swings back around to face her teenage cousins. “Yes, these are my boyfriends.”
Xander looks at me like I’m nuts. “You’re also dating Akara?”
“Not exactly, kid.”
Confusion scrunches his face. “I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to get it,” Sulli interjects. Her hostility originates from what she overheard with her dad, but it unleashes on these two. “It’s my fucking life.”
“Whoa, okay, Jesus.” Xander shrinks back.
Ben frowns. “Why are you so angry?”
“I’m not angry!” she shouts, clearly angry.
Akara tells them quickly, “Okay, hello, goodbye.” He ushers Sulli forward, his arm around her broad shoulders.
My hand is still in hers, and she’s squeezing harder. Her face is bright red. And I want to take away the pain she’s been feeling. Her hurt and frustration and everything else bearing on her body, but it’s not as easy as counting one, two, three.
We climb the staircase to the second floor. Stepping over a box of ornaments and moving around a four-foot Santa, Sulli swigs more beer.
Akara steals the bottle this time, finishing off the last drop as we all slip into a guest room.
Our room for the holiday.
It’s a fuckin’ miracle her dad is even allowing me and Akara to sleep at his lake house, let alone in the same room as her. But Sulli threatened to spend Christmas in Costa Rica if they didn’t let us come along.
Ryke caved.
Sulli plops onto the green reindeer quilt, bedding already switched for the holidays. “I fucking hate this.”
I lean on the dresser. “Which part?”
Akara gives me a look. “How about we start from the jump?”
“We overheard Maximoff talking to Loren and Ryke.” I explain the rest in a couple seconds.
Sulli holds her bent legs. “He regrets breaking a promise to Winona more than he regrets trying to kick one of my boyfriends to the curb.” Her face twists. “It’s fucked up. And…this whole time, we could’ve commiserated about how hard being vegan was. He could’ve confided in me. Instead, I had to eavesdrop to fucking know anything.”
“You’ll get back there,” I tell her.
“No we won’t, Banks,” she says with reddened eyes. “I’m never going to get back there if he doesn’t accept that I’m with you and Akara.”
I shake my head. “I have to believe he’ll come around.” If she’s losing hope, then the best I can do is keep hope alive for us.
She stares at the floor.
Akara grips the waist-high, wooden bedpost. “Is that why you’re drinking, Sul?”
Sulli bristles. “I just like it…and yeah, I guess it makes me feel better.” Her eyes flit from him to me. “Lots of people drink to calm their nerves.”