Fearless Like Us (Like Us 9)

She’s right, but it’s Christmas. An important day where the mole could’ve dropped a stink bomb onto someone’s life.

My mouth dries.

“Best way to find out.” I’m going to go to the source and ask my family what the fuck is up. With power, I skate towards the edge of the lake.

The closer I am to the snowy bank, the more heads turn. The more eyes cast down on me. My pulse ascends to my throat, but I don’t stop.

I skate and skate, cold pricking my cheeks, and then I see them.

Akara and Banks push out from the crowded deck. From my family. They sprint down the icy stairs, they rush down the hill, and I swear as soon as my skates hit land, everyone on the deck goes silent.

Hushed.

Like the calm before a tidal wave.

My head spins.

I cage breath, and it feels like I’m a part of that nursery rhyme The Three Little Pigs, and I’m standing inside the straw house. Only I’m the wolf. And I’m terrified of blowing it all down.

My boyfriends are only feet away.

“Sulli,” Akara says my name tenderly. Too tenderly.

Banks holds my gaze with concern in his brown eyes. “It leaked, Sulli.”

I shake my head tensely.

No.

We were supposed to have until my birthday. February 4th. Our relationship couldn’t have leaked today—it’s too early.

No.

No.

The pain that cracks their faces says, yes.

“Sulli,” Akara breathes.

Pressure hammers my lungs, and I just need to go. Go. Go. I tear off one skate, and I pull off the next. My socks tug off with them. To my boyfriends, I choke out what I need, “Chase me.”

And I run. Feeling the eyes of my family on my back, I push harder. Banks and Akara’s urgent footsteps charge after me. Barefoot, I bolt to the east and race straight into the dense woods. Woods that I’ve jogged and sprinted more times than I can count.

Twigs whip at my hair and brush against my face. Snow numbs the soles of my feet. My muscles scream, but something in me is screaming louder and rattling to break free.

I outrun my boyfriends.

But I can hear the branches they slam aside and the rumble of earth beneath their heavy, unwavering feet. I’m not alone.

I’m not alone.

We’re together.

Fuck everyone else.

Everything is going to change.

Everything is going to fucking change.

I’m prepared.

No.

I’m not ready.

I was never going to be ready.

I swerve through two trees, ducking, and blood rings in my ears. I can’t feel my feet. Warring emotion clashes inside me like a free-for-all showdown. Confidence and doubt, positivity and fucking insecurities. All the peace I’ve felt with Akara and Banks is slipping out of my fingertips. Once I leave the lake house, everything is going to change.

Hot tears prick and fly out of the corners of my eyes, legs pumping viciously beneath me. I grit my teeth and push and push.

Ice pulls my foot out from under me—I slip and trip and land on my hands and knees. And as I shake with adrenaline, arms scoop around my frame and lift up. Banks cradles me, and I curl into his chest.

“Let it out,” Akara breathes.

I scream out the emotion that thrashes, that crashes, that grips and pulls and weighs. The noise fades into Banks’ body. I fist his jacket and reach out to find Akara, but he finds me. He puts my palm on his heart that thumps, thumps, thumps at a calmer pace.

I breathe and breathe.

Pulse slowing, throat raw.

Tears still build. “I’m so angry,” I choke out and wipe at my cheeks. “I have no control over my own fucking life, and this is about to hurt both of you. Your lives are…your privacy…” Everything is going to change.

“We’re gonna get through it,” Banks murmurs in a husky breath, keeping me in his arms.

I peel my face out of his chest.

Their eyes are reddened, despite the confidence in Banks’ voice. Akara nods a few times to me, “I wish we had more time, Sulli…”

My chin quakes. “Me too, Kits.”

We were supposed to have more time.

Cold wind whistles through the fir trees. Banks doesn’t struggle holding me, and I realize he’s not setting me down while I’m barefoot and my feet are stinging.

“They’re bleeding,” Akara says, watching me stare at my toes.

He clasps a hand around my ankle and inspects my foot in concern. “You have many splinters, Lady Meadows.”

I let out a weak laugh. “I feel like one giant splinter…” I’m splintering inside, and my face breaks.

Banks holds me tighter while I silently cry. I don’t want to cry, but it’s leaking and I can’t stop the fucking waterworks. I’m angry. Sad. Frustrated. Every emotion under the sun. Banks cups the back of my head with such comfort, and Akara says magic words, “Let’s just stay here for a second.”

Banks nods in agreement, and we all drop to the ground. I lean against Banks and then Akara, their arms around me while we rest against a tree.