‘Our baby, not the baby.’
His chest pulled even tighter, but Lukas was determined to ignore it.
‘I’ll see to it that you and the baby always have everything you need.’
‘You’re all we need.’ There was a desperation to her tone now, and it threatened to unravel things within him that had been tied up—for good reason—for so many years.
‘No, I’m not what anyone needs.’
‘You’re wrong,’ Oti exclaimed. ‘You’re the only thing we need.’
And it worried him how much he wanted to believe her.
‘This thing between us should never have happened,’ he forced himself to say flatly, as though frightened to show any emotion, lest he betray himself. ‘But, now that it has, the best thing you can do is put some distance between us. That baby deserves better than me for a father.’
‘Why would you even think that?’ she cried.
‘Because I’m not a good man.’ It was a fact that had never bothered him before. ‘I’ve spent decades trying to run away from it, but I can’t. Like it or not, I’m my father’s own son.’
She’d crossed the room before he’d even registered that she’d moved. And her hand on his chest was threatening to make his head spin.
‘You’re nothing like Rockman,’ she told him fiercely. ‘You’re a good man, Lukas. A generous man.’
‘You don’t know me at all,’ he thundered, needing to get her hand off him, but unable to even move. Paralysed.
His brain couldn’t analyse what was happening.
‘Then what am I missing?’ she demanded. And it seemed that the more out of control he was feeling, the more in control she was becoming. ‘Because I obviously don’t see the same thing that you do.’
‘You see what you want to see.’ He finally managed to find it in him to lift his hand and remove hers from his chest.
But, instead of resolving the issue, he found his skin was cold without her touch. And he lamented the loss.
‘No, Lukas, I’ve finally found out the truth about you.’ She offered a lopsided smile that he couldn’t even begin to draw his gaze away from. ‘You know, Edward has been doing a little research since his operation, reaching out to all his old friends and allies. It seems you’re one of the most generous philanthropists globally, right now. You’ve given millions to so many charities anonymously over the years.’
‘Hearsay.’
‘Do you think I don’t know it was you who got all those tetanus vaccines to our camp in South Sudan within a matter of weeks? No company has ever managed that before. Not to mention the other drugs, new equipment, even new vehicles you had sent through.’
‘That wasn’t for public consumption,’ he heard himself growl out.
‘I’m not public, Lukas. I’m your wife. And I know you’re a good man.’
‘I married you because I could use you, Oti. And your father.’ He made himself say it, even though he knew he would hate himself for it. ‘Those weren’t the actions of a good man.’
‘If it hadn’t been you, then my father would have married me off to someone. We both know it. And I would have had no choice but to agree because I needed to try everything I could to get the surgery for Edward. You saved me.’
She spoke so softly yet with such conviction, and the words tore into him more than any harsh words she might have thrown his way.
‘By chance, not by design.’
‘I don’t think so.’ Another killer smile. ‘You could have walked away, but you didn’t. I think, deep down, you knew I needed you. And, somewhere along the line, I think you’ve fallen in love with me.’
‘You’re wholly mistaken,’ he ground out, barely recognising his own voice. ‘I have never loved you.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘No, I’ve never loved anyone. Not even my own mother. I’m simply