‘I don’t see why not,’ he drawled, as though there wasn’t a pounding so loud in his chest that it might as well have been a roll of thunder right overhead. ‘We’ve made a baby together, Saskia. In my book that makes us some kind of family—so why not make it a happy one?’
‘That’s...ludicrous.’
‘More ludicrous than you thinking you could cut me out of my own baby’s life?’
She stopped, swallowed hard, but then looked him in the eye. ‘I apologise for that but, like I said, I intended to tell you until I realised you were avoiding me and I lost my nerve. But this...moving in together...it won’t work.’
‘I disagree.’
‘I want my child to have stability in its life—people who will always be there, come what may. Not someone who decides after a few months or years that it isn’t for them after all.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
He could see her skin prickle at the unmistakably dangerous edge to his tone, but she continued anyway.
‘I want my baby to feel loved, and happy, and secure. Always. I know I can provide all of that for my child. I will never walk away or abandon it.’
‘And you believe I will?’ Barely restrained fury arced between them, virtually scorching her with its intensity. ‘I can assure you that will never happen.’
‘You say that now...’
There was no rancour in her voice, and he could tell she was trying to project a quiet inner strength, but he could hear the faint quiver and see the slight tremor of her hands.
‘But however good your intentions are at this moment in time, Malachi, you never wanted any of this—you’re happy being a bachelor. What happens when you decide that being a father isn’t for you after all?’
‘That won’t happen,’ he gritted out.
But she continued as though he hadn’t even spoken. ‘You’ll leave. Maybe it will happen slowly, maybe overnight, but either way my child will feel abandoned.’
‘Our child,’ he growled. ‘And I will not do that to our baby. I do not simply walk away from my commitments or my responsibilities.’
‘I’m sure you don’t. You don’t build a business empire like MIG International unless you’re dedicated, single-minded. But this is a baby—not a business. It’s a very different prospect.’
‘Be very careful, Saskia, about what you think I do and don’t understand.’ His tone was well moderated, but he could feel the restrained emotion in every syllable.
‘Then tell me!’ she exploded unexpectedly. ‘Tell me something about Malachi Gunn that I don’t know. Because you never told me a single thing that weekend.’
His jaw was locked so tight it was almost painful, but he couldn’t seem to loosen it however hard he tried. A storm was building inside him, silent but nonetheless lethal. And still Saskia pressed on.
‘Tell me something that isn’t some morsel of PR carefully crafted for the world at large.’ Her voice rose despite her obvious attempts to be calm. ‘I challenge you.’
It was all so close to the bone that Malachi was sure she was scraping him, fracturing him, splintering him. Worse, he was almost tempted to answer her. To tell her something about his godawful childhood that no one but he and Sol knew. To make her understand this sudden, driving need to ensure that his child had the kind of family life he had never enjoyed.
Only he wasn’t quite sure he entirely understood it himself.
He struggled to maintain his composure. ‘The way you told me something personal about yourself?’ he countered. ‘We both have our reasons for keeping people at arm’s length. I recommend you don’t ask me questions you yourself wouldn’t be prepared to answer.’
‘That’s precisely my point, though...’ She lifted her hand, then dropped it. Confusion flooded through her gaze, as though she knew the tension was escalating but had no idea how to stop it. ‘We both like our privacy. How do you see us raising a child together? There’s nothing real between us.’
He opened his mouth to reply and then his eyes caught sight of her hands, moving subconsciously to cradle her belly, her baby. Their baby. And they were sitting here arguing.
How had things degenerated like this?
Abruptly Malachi reached forward and poured out her water. The sound of it pouring from the bottle into her glass filled the room, and he concentrated on the noise the ice cubes made as they clinked and tinkled together. Anything to distract himself for even a moment.
Then he reached out to hand her the glass and their fingers brushed. It was like a shot of pure adrenaline. He might as well have been dancing out of his own skin. And judging by the expression clouding Saskia’s face he wasn’t the only one.
So much for nothing real between them.