It was frustrating, thrilling, and terrifying all at the same time.
Moreover, her haughty tone seemed to work its way through him like a stormproof match in a state-of-the-art survival kit. Even if she submerged him in the coldest hauteur he was afraid he would still blaze brightly for her.
Which was exactly why marriage to her had been a reckless idea.
He was altogether too afraid that having her under his roof, that sinful body of hers within arm’s reach, and knowing exactly how wickedly she melted into him, he wouldn’t be able to stay on task.
Even now he wanted to touch her, taste her again. It was one of the reasons he’d chosen to fly her out of the country, well away from the temptation of taking her back to his apartment.
His one priority right now had to be their baby, and after the scan the other day he knew it wasn’t going to be as impossible as he’d feared.
Even at the memory of that ultrasound Malachi felt his chest tighten. His heart stopped, then restarted with a lurch.
His baby. Their baby.
So impossibly, exquisitely perfect.
Seeing his baby moving on that screen and hearing its heartbeat hadn’t just unlocked the cage on his long-restrained heart—it had smashed it apart and splintered it into a million worthless pieces.
His entire chest felt full. Bursting. And the baby wasn’t even born yet. How the hell was he going to cope when it was cradled in his arms?
He had known in that moment that he would protect it with his life. And Saskia, too, of course, as the mother of his child. But marrying her wasn’t the way to do that. Not least because being around her made him feel wholly and completely out of control.
It all led to a conundrum he was more than happy not to answer. For Saskia, however, it seemed to be the only question she wanted answered.
‘Do you intend for me to live out of a suitcase—some nights of the week at your apartment and some nights at my own?’ she asked. ‘Or perhaps you propose to come and spend some nights at the apartment Anouk and I share?’
‘There is an apartment available in my building. I thought you could move in there. That way we would still have our own space, but our baby would have both its parents around all the time.’
It might not exactly be a stroke of genius, but Malachi was more than happy that it was a fair halfway meeting.
Saskia looked disgruntled. ‘Are you serious?’
‘You have an objection?’ he managed mildly.
‘Well...yes!’ she seethed. ‘You’re talking about installing me in an apartment in your building like some kind of mistress you’re moving in for your convenience.’
‘I was thinking about what makes sense for you and the baby.’ He narrowed his gaze. ‘But I find it interesting that you should use the term mistress. Are you making me a proposition?’
‘I most certainly am not,’ she returned.
But he noted the dark colour staining her cheeks and her long, elegant neck, and could only imagine just how far it spread down her lush body.
‘Your body language might suggest otherwise.’
‘Then learn to read it better,’ she snapped.
He tried to suppress the urge to grin, but it was too strong. It was this damn spell that Saskia kept putting him under. The idea was that he was supposed to be taking control of this situation, not falling for her charms like some little lapdog.
‘That sounds like another invitation,’ he drawled. ‘A pity that I have to decline.’
‘It wasn’t an invitation.’ She jutted her chin out obstinately. ‘And even if it was, I don’t believe you would decline. I remember how your body responds to me, Malachi. I know I’m not the only one who was lost in the moment the other night.’
‘You’re remembering what you want to remember, zvyozdochka. My advice to you is to stop fighting me and to remember that we’re on the same team.’
‘Yes—because it’s so easy to feel that way when you’re commanding me to upend my life and move away from my support system just to make things easier for you.’
He hated it that her dismissal of his role in her life stung as it did.