‘Walk where?’
‘I told you—you’ll see.’
He wanted to tell her that nothing had changed. That he still couldn’t give her all the romance and sentiment she wanted. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak; he didn’t want to burst this little bubble of hers into which he could already feel himself being drawn.
It might be just an illusion, but it was one in which he wanted to revel—if only for a few more minutes.
And, besides, something had changed.
He’d realised that what he felt for her was—if not love itself—the closest thing he was ever going to get to it. She was like a fire, drawing him in from the cold. Her heat and her laughter had thawed him out when he’d thought he would never feel warm in his life.
It was why he let her lead him through the lobby now, watching her pull her woolly hat down over her curls before glancing over her shoulder to him and preceding him out of the revolving doors.
The streets were slick with rain, and he reached for her arm instinctively, wrapping it around his and ensuring that she didn’t slip. And the wide smile she shot him kick-started some new alien sensation inside him.
It was as though she welcomed his care. As though she understood it for what it was.
Even if he wasn’t quite sure that he did.
‘Not far now,’ she murmured, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the nervous tremor in her tone, despite her overly bright smile.
It was only when they turned into the town hall that the wheels in his head finally began to spin.
‘Saskia, what’s going on?’
‘Shh...nearly there,’ she chided with a shaky laugh—but her voice cracked and betrayed her.
Moorlands Register Office.
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‘Did you know it’s a leap year this year?’
Normally he would have known, but this past week had blurred into itself so much that for once he had to stop and think.
‘Is it?’
‘It is,’ she confirmed, her voice pitched higher than usual. ‘And even though it might be the wrong month, I...thought I’d take advantage.’
‘Advantage?’ he echoed numbly.
‘You were right all those months ago when you told me I was only holding out for a passionate love like my parents’ because deep down I knew it had never really existed. It gave me the excuse I needed to keep people away—just like you do. Only at least you were more honest with yourself about what you were doing.’
‘No, I don’t think I was,’ he refuted. The words were coming out without him intending them to. ‘I think you were right. I thought I had come to terms with my childhood in a way Sol never had, but all I was doing was keeping it in front of me to...what did you say?...use as a shield.’
‘So we’ve both taught each other something?’
Saskia smiled, and a shard of light pierced through him in an instant.
He’d grown so accustomed to the gloom in his world that he’d thought it was normal. Fine. But now he’d seen everything bathed in the vibrant colours of Saskia how was he ever to go back to that darkness?
‘Why are we here, zvyozdochka?’ he demanded, perhaps a little more sharply than he’d intended.
But she didn’t blink—she just rewarded him with another of her dazzling smiles.
‘You taught me that all the words of love and poetry I was holding out for don’t bring much to the table after all. You taught me that actions really do speak louder than words, and you showed me how much you love me...us,’ she corrected, smoothing a hand over her ever-growing abdomen. ‘So now it’s my turn.’
‘This is unnecessary—’ he began.