‘Bauble,’ Jamie pronounced slowly.
Kat’s heart swelled at the pride in his voice.
‘That’s amazing,’ she told Jamie solemnly. ‘Your daddy must trust you very, very much. You’ll have to choose a really special bauble, okay?’
‘Yes,’ Jamie confirmed boldly. ‘You help me.’
‘Oh, no, sweetie, I...can’t.’
But it shocked her just how much she wanted to say yes.
Only a couple of minutes ago she hadn’t been able to look at the Christmas tree because of how painful a reminder it was of being without Carrie. Now her heart was aching because she wanted to accompany Jamie and his father on their Christmas-bauble shopping trip.
She ached to see that wide-eyed, unequivocal belief in the magic of the season that only a young child could show. The way she’d expected this Christmas to be for her with Carrie.
‘Why?’ Jamie’s voice pierced her thoughts and, in a tiny sense, it was a little bit gratifying how crushed he looked. ‘Pl-e-e-e-ease, Kat?’
She should say no. She opened her mouth then closed it again, but didn’t dare look at Logan.
‘I think this is a trip for you and your daddy,’ she managed instead.
‘I’m sure Kat has better things to do than come shopping for Christmas tree decorations,’ Logan cut in, making her jump.
?
??Right.’ She stumbled over the word, tugging her mouth into some semblance of a smile and pretending that her head wasn’t screaming at her to disagree. ‘Of course. Lots to do.’
She stood up, her eyes slamming straight into Logan’s.
‘Don’t you?’ he asked, a little more quietly this time.
She hesitated, unsure what to answer. The idea of returning to her empty place was no more palatable than it had been the other night.
‘You’re welcome to come if you want to,’ he went on, just as quietly. ‘I just didn’t want you to feel obliged.’
‘I don’t.’ She shook her head instantly. ‘That is, I wouldn’t. I’d love to join you both.’
There it was again, that infuriating unfathomable expression. And then it was gone, and he was addressing his son.
‘Okay, champ, then that’s settled. Kat can come after all.’
‘Yay!’ Jamie did a little dance in front of them before slipping his hand into Kat’s. ‘C’mon, Kat, help me find dinosaur bubbles.’
‘Baubles,’ she corrected happily, blushing when she chorused it in time with Logan.
‘But,’ Jamie announced imperiously, holding his hand up, ‘first we’re starting with a sleigh ride.’
And she told herself there was nothing in the least romantic about that at all.
* * *
‘Well, that’s the second colleague from the hospital to have seen us,’ Logan observed a few hours later as they left yet another store with yet another Jamie-selected tree ornament.
The little boy’s hand was still firmly lodged in Kat’s—clearly his mother had been right about his son craving a younger female presence in his life.
‘It’s okay.’ Kat turned around to answer him. ‘We’re just talking about innocuous topics like the traffic. And the weather.’
It took Logan a moment to realise that she was teasing him. He wanted to tease her back, but that was a skill slightly out of his wheelhouse.