Then she began to move on him. She might have known he would never let her get away with it.
He grabbed her hips, his fingers biting into her skin, not roughly just enough. He always knew how much was enough. It occurred to her that it was one of the things she loved most about him.
The realisation made Kat freeze.
She fought the urge to lift one hand to cover her breastbone in the hope that could stay the desperate, clawing desolation within.
She loved him.
How had she not seen this coming? How had she left herself so open? So vulnerable to attack? And no matter that some voice inside her argued that Logan would never do that to her—that he wasn’t like Kirk—who knew if a person could really be trusted? Not when it came down to it.
She loved him. Logan. This maddening, clever Comic Book Hero who had crashed into her life when that car had crashed on the black ice.
He was vibrant and funny, generous and kind. Whilst she was far too broken to ever be able to offer anything to him or to Jamie. She couldn’t never make their family whole. She couldn’t even make her body do the one thing it was biologically designed to do.
How long before he realised that and left her for someone who could? And that was why she needed to end this fling now.
Whilst she still could.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘I’VE GOT A burn in Room One,’ Kat told her chief. ‘I’ve left her rinsing it in running water for the next ten to fifteen. I’ve a woman with unspecified chest pain in Room Two, so I’m waiting for the results on her, and I’ve an ETOH in Room Four. He’s a frequent flyer so I’ve done the usual vitals and blood sugar and left him with a candy bar.’
‘And you’ve just completed discharge for Room Three?’
‘Right,’ Kat confirmed.
‘Okay, good. You were due off duty...’ the chief glanced down at her watch ‘...half an hour ago.’
‘It’s fine.’ Kat shrugged, thinking of her empty apartment.
The quiet had never bothered her before. In fact, she’d always rather welcomed the peace. But not now. Not since Logan had filled it with life and fun.
And she had to stop thinking that way.
‘Okay, have a good afternoon, and be glad you’re going off duty. This place isn’t too bad for now, but I’m betting it’s going to get slammed soon.’
‘I’m not betting against you.’ Kat smiled. ‘Although I think I’d prefer the chaos of the ER to the chaos out there.’
‘You’re not shopping at Christmas, are you?’ Her chief looked aghast.
‘Couple of last-minute errands, that’s all.’
No need to mention that she’d been putting them off for weeks, still in denial about Christmas without Carrie. But now there was no choice, they had to be done.
‘We missed you at the ball last week, by the way.’
Kat froze, unprepared for the well-intentioned comment. She cranked up her smile and wished it didn’t feel like a thousand needles in her face.
‘Yeah, well, I took an extra shift.’ It took everything she had to keep things light and airy. ‘A bit of extra money never hurts at this time of year.’
She didn’t need the money, but it was plausible enough. And certainly a better explanatio
n than the fact that she hadn’t been able to stand the idea of facing Logan. Of seeing him talking to other women who would surely have made a beeline for him.
‘Ah, right.’ The chief nodded in understanding, just as Kat had banked on. ‘Anyway, have a good afternoon.’
‘And you.’ Kat managed one final smile as she walked away.