A strangled sob escaped her throat before she could stop it. Her emotions were pushed to the limit. And suddenly all she could think about was the baby she had conceived as a result of that one incredible night. Their baby—although he’d never known. Almost five years on, she could still feel the pain which had torn at her heart the day she’d lost it.
Another sob threatened to break free and she choked it back just as Dr Fields came back into the room.
‘It’s just the sedative talking.’ He looked up at her sharply before softening his voice. ‘Think of Ben like any other patient, if it helps. Don’t let it get to you, Doctor.’
She bowed her head, unable to speak and yet unable to leave the room.
The sur
geon continued. ‘His vitals are stable. Rest is the best thing to help his body to heal at this time, and I’ve no doubt that, despite his initial reaction, seeing you will help to calm any fears he has and help him to be patient until we know more.’
Thea wasn’t so sure. But when Ben woke up she’d finally have to tell him. Everything. Yes, she definitely needed closure.
CHAPTER TWO
Five years earlier
‘SHOULD I...? THAT IS...do you want me to carry you over the threshold?’ Ben hesitated at the cottage door, his key still unturned in the lock.
‘Sorry?’
Her voice sounded thick, as if she was in some kind of fug. He could empathise with that.
‘Now we’re married...’ Ben shrugged, feeling uncharacteristically helpless. He didn’t do emotion at the best of times. But Thea’s brother—his best friend—had just died. How was he supposed to support her? ‘I just wondered...’
He trailed off, hating these alien feelings. His career depended on him being decisive and sure. He gathered the best intelligence he could and made his plan of action accordingly. But how did he gather intel on the right way to help a grieving sister? How did he ensure he said the right thing, did the right thing? He didn’t know the right protocols. He didn’t know the rules. It left him feeling ineffective and uncertain.
But he did know it was now his responsibility to help Thea. And that ignoring loss, pretending it didn’t exist, didn’t make it go away. He knew that from bitter experience.
‘I don’t know if I’m expected to carry you over the threshold,’ he stated uncomfortably.
‘Oh. No, Lord, no—of course not.’ Thea shook her head in distress. ‘I just want to get into the house and off this street. I can practically feel the curtains twitching.’
Ben glanced around. Not a single curtain had moved, but he could understand Thea’s discomfort and her need to escape inside.
Marrying someone with whom he’d only been on one date wasn’t something he’d ever thought he would do. He wasn’t impulsive. At least not in his personal life. But this wasn’t about impulsiveness. It was about practicality. It was about fulfilling his promise to Dan—Thea’s brother and his army buddy—that he would take care of Thea. The guy had taken a bullet for him—fulfilling that promise was a given.
Ben had taken over payment of the fees for Thea’s medical degree, given her access to other necessary finances, but finding her a new home had been harder, given the time constraints. Her landlord had evicted her the moment he’d discovered Dan was dead and she could no longer pay the rent. Finding her a new flat would have taken more time than he had.
The only solution had been to marry her, so that the Army would allocate them a house within the officers’ married quarters on the base. With its tight-knit community, and the fact that he was often away on courses, exercises and tours of duty, he’d thought it the safest place for a twenty-one-year-old girl who had already lost her parents at...what had Dan said...eight? Nine?
‘I’m just not used to all...this.’ Thea waved her hand in the direction of the cul-de-sac as Ben opened the door and she practically fell inside.
‘Community?’
She shook her head. ‘People knowing your business.’
There were boxes in the hallway. He hadn’t had time to sort anything out yet, although neither of them owned much stuff. She didn’t seem to hang on to personal effects; that was something they both had in common.
‘It’s...pretty,’ she sounded surprised. ‘Until the other day, I’d always assumed married quarters just meant a different wing in the barracks,’
‘No. Married soldiers get a house either on, or near to, the camp,’Ben dredged up a smile. ‘The higher rank the soldier is, the nicer the accommodation. And the quieter the area on camp.’
‘Right,’ Thea nodded robotically.
He doubted if she had even really seen the place properly when the Housing Officer had marched them in a week ago to take inventory and do a damage report. She had still been coming to terms with burying Dan.
He knew Dan hadn’t been able to afford to rent more than a one-bedroom flat for his sister, so she could have a roof over her head. He had always put Thea first.