Now was his chance to say something. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead he told himself that Thea had finally got a long-held resentment off her chest and he couldn’t blame her for any of it. Raking it all up again in the cold light of today wouldn’t help anybody.
Thea might not realise it, but she had changed so much in the last five years from the young woman he remembered. She was successful, settled and happy, and just because she’d taken the opportunity to vent it didn’t mean she wanted to be dragged into his emotional baggage. What was it she’d said? There’s nothing more to say.
Caught up in his musings, he almost jumped when the toaster popped up a teacake. He gave a wry smile. He’d forgotten how much she loved them. Dan had once told him that teacakes were the reason she’d dragged him to endless teashops—one of the many things he’d affectionately recounted about his kid sister.
What was he doing, reminiscing? There was no place in this scenario for such sentimental nonsense. Thea needed something more tangible from him. A matter of a few weeks ago she’d asked for a semblance of friendship—well, now was his chance to try it.
He glanced at her. She was ignoring the teacake, still rigid on her stool. Reaching over, he took the teacake and placed it on the plate she’d set by the toaster, then slid it over to her with a smile.
‘An olive branch?’
‘Thanks,’ she muttered. ‘Um...could you please pass me the butter as well?’
‘Sure.’ Surprised, he obliged.
Thea slipped off her stool and appeared to shuffle to the cutlery drawer, careful to keep the counter in between them. It was only when he leaned over to slide the butter tray across the island that he understood her discomfort.
Just beyond the countertop he caught a glimpse of the curve of her pert backside, peeking out from beneath a short, cheeky dressing gown. Unexpectedly desire fired through him. He wondered what would happen if he rounded the island and took her in his arms. Claimed her mouth with his, reminding her of what she’d once wanted with him. What they had bo
th once wanted.
‘Ben?’
He snatched his gaze up to see her staring at him, her eyes wide, a horrified expression on her face as she tugged desperately at the dressing gown, dropping the knife in the process. It hit the floor with a loud clatter.
What was wrong with him?
Disgust flooded through him and he turned away, angry with himself for letting his lust take over when he was supposed to be focussed on making amends to Thea. He still wanted her, after all this time, but he had no right to.
Her flushed face turned an even deeper shade of scarlet and then she was scurrying around the island, head down and mumbling something. Hell. That was his fault. Again. He’d made her feel uncomfortable in her own home.
He stepped into her path to block her exit. ‘Thea, I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened.’
‘I thought you were asleep when I came down...’
She paused for a moment, shaking her head, biting her lip. Then she stepped forward placing her hands flat on his chest as if to gently move him out of her way. Reaction fizzed through him, and by the way her head jerked up and she looked him in the face Thea felt it too.
They stood motionless for several moments, unable to break whatever spell momentarily bound them. Then he moved his hands to cover hers and took a step closer. She didn’t back away. He could feel her breath, soft and warm on the back of his hand. He wondered if she could feel his heartbeat accelerating beneath her touch. It was practically hammering its way right out of his chest, and the desire to kiss her was overwhelming.
Ben dipped his head, then paused.
He wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but in an instant they were stumbling awkwardly away from each other, snatching their hands back as if they’d been burned and muttering incoherently.
And then she was gone and Ben stood alone, fumbling to regroup. He glanced around the kitchen, wondering what had just happened between them.
* * *
‘You’re early,’ Jack noted as soon as Thea walked onto the base for her shift. ‘Your shift doesn’t start for an hour. What’s up? Trouble in paradise?’
‘What?’ Thea looked at him sharply.
‘Difficult to get used to being around each other again?’ Jack shrugged. ‘When a soldier comes back to civilian life after a long time away at war? The readjustment period, isn’t it?’
‘Oh. Right. Yes.’ Thea forced herself to smile.
If only it was that. She had no idea what had happened between them this morning. Except that she’d let her emotions—her desire for Ben Abrams—get to her again. She knew better than that—at least her head did. So why couldn’t her heart toe the line as well? There could be no future for them—especially after she’d laid everything out to him, spilled her heart, and all he’d been able to say was an unsatisfactory sorry.
She wondered if deep down she’d been holding out for some declaration of love—if only to restore some of her bruised sense of pride. She didn’t want a romantic relationship with Ben—they had too much painful history and logically she knew it would never work out between them. But clearly he’d never once regretted his decision to leave, never once thought about her or wondered what might have been. And that hurt more than she would have thought possible after all this time.