Too shocked to speak, Archie listened as he described her in completely dispassionate terms. Like a third person. Like a patient.
‘She has a past history of spontaneous second-trimester abortion.’ Archie flinched. It was the same terminology the doctors had used around her and she’d never hated a medical term so much in her life. It sounded so wrong, as if she’d had any choice in the matter whatsoever. Kaspar continued, oblivious. ‘No, not a referral. It’s personal.’
Within moments he had replaced the handset.
‘What...what are you doing?’
‘Catherine Jarvis is one of the best perinatologists in the world.’ He paused as Archie stared at him in confusion, then clarified. ‘Maternal-foetal specialist. She has a patient with her now but she’ll see you in half an hour.’
‘I don’t... No!’ Archie shook her head at the implications of what he was saying, the suggestion that the pregnancy wasn’t as low-risk as she’d believed hitting her altogether too hard. ‘I’ve had a scan. I’ve been checked. They know my history. If something was wrong, if it was going to happen again, they would have known.’
‘Shh,’ he soothed. ‘I’m not saying they’re wrong. I’m just... I want to be sure.’
But the expression in his eyes didn’t exactly fit.
‘Is the loss of the baby...of Faith why your marriage fell apart?’
She knew he was distracting her, but the very fact that he’d remembered her daughter’s name cut through everything else. It was more than Joe had done. He hadn’t even cared enough to want to name her.
‘Yes,’ she managed quietly. ‘And no.’
‘Meaning?’ There was a slight curl to his lip, as though he couldn’t help but sneer. As though he knew what kind a man Joe had been.
But he didn’t know anything at all.
‘He got the job opportunity of a lifetime in Switzerland. I didn’t want to go with him.’
‘Why not? He was your husband.’
‘My life was in the UK, plus I’d just lost my baby, and I didn’t love him,’ she began hesitantly.
‘You married a man you didn’t love?’ His censure made her bristle.
‘I thought I loved him. I told him I loved him. But, with hindsight, I don’t know if I ever did or if I was more grateful to him. He was there after Dad died. I was falling apart and Joe looked after me. He was kind to me. He took care of me. He loved me. I thought I loved him, too.’
‘Enough to marry him?’ Kaspar didn’t even try to keep the scorn from his voice.
‘He was twelve years older than me. He was like a rock. Stable, emotionally secure, knew what he wanted, including a family. That all appealed to me. Now I know I was just trying to fill the void left by Dad’s death and Robbie going to Australia.’
‘It sounds like this bloke took advantage of you.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘At least, not like you’re thinking.’
‘He knew you were grieving and vulnerable and he seduced you into marriage by pretending to love you,’ Kaspar accused.
‘No, it wasn’t like that.’
Archie shifted on her seat, splaying her hands out as though that could somehow help her articulate the words that were in her head but which she couldn’t seem to get out.
‘I think it was. You were lost and grieving while he should have known better. I think when you finally see it for what it is, you’ll stop making excuses for him.’
‘I think the sooner you get your head out of your backside the sooner you’ll stop trying to tell me exactly what I do or don’t feel,’ Archie snapped suddenly, taking both herself and Kaspar by surprise. A welcome flash of the vibrant, no-nonsense side of herself.
Still, she didn’t expect Kaspar to drop his head back and let out
a laugh.
‘What’s so funny?’ she demanded coldly.