‘This is California, there’s no waiting time. A long line could mean a two hour wait, but that’s about it.’ He brushed her concern aside with a sweep of his arm. ‘Then we have ninety days to actually get married before the license expires, so unless you’re planning on some elaborate ceremony somewhere, I know a couple of ministers who can perform marriages. Either one of them would be happy to step in at such short notice for us. I’m sure we can even go to the beach if you’d prefer something more...romantic.’
He pulled a face which wasn’t exactly encouraging. She tried again.
‘I’m not Californian. I’m not even American.’
‘You don’t have to be a resident.’ Again, he dismissed her with apparent ease. ‘And there’s no restriction against foreigners marrying here either. You just need the correct documentation which you have. I’ve already checked. ’
‘Kaspar...’
‘There’s no other way.’ His crisp response had been damning. ‘But if you need another reason, then how about this; you need to be here where you can be seen by Catherine and my health insurance will cover you only if you are my wife.’
She had savings. Money she’d set aside year in and year out as her rainy-day fund. But nothing that might cover something like this. She’d hated to put it to Kaspar, but she’d had little choice.
‘What if you paid?’ She could actually remember running her tongue over her teeth in an effort to free them from her top lip. ‘I would pay you back. Every penny...or at least every cent...in time, of course.’
‘No.’
‘Please, Kaspar?’ It wasn’t like he wasn’t wealthy enough to afford it. Although she hadn’t been able to say that, it would have sounded so cold-blooded, and that wasn’t how she would have intended it. Her voice had dropped to a whisper. ‘Why not?’
‘Why should I pay out of my pocket just so you can run back to England and take my child away from me at the first chance you get?’ he had ground out, and if she hadn’t known better she might have thought he sounded almost urgent. But then his commanding tone had come back and she’d known she’d just imagined it. ‘I told you, this baby will be brought up knowing her father.’
Archie blinked as she realised that, back in the present, the minister was looking at her expectantly. She clutched the flowers tighter and prayed her subconscious was paying enough attention to know what stage of the ceremony they were up to.
‘I do,’ she choked out, relieved when he bobbed his head, turning back to Kaspar. ‘Repeat after me. I, Kaspar Athari...’
She tried to concentrate, but it was too much. Her head still swam with memories of that night. She had assured him that their baby would know him. Promised him. But he had been intransigent, his cool, level responses only heightening her agitation.
She hadn’t known why the idea of marriage had disconcerted her so much. She’d told herself it was because the idea was ludicrous, but feared it was more because a part of her actually longed to say yes. To take the easy solution that he was offering. To accept the safe stability of a marriage. A unit.
But how long would that safe stability last? Especially with a man like Kaspar, who had spent his life vigorously avoiding ties of any kind.
As if he could read her thoughts, he had thrust his hands into his pockets, looking, for all the world, like the conversation bored him.
‘I don’t work on promises, Archie. I never promise my patients or their families anything that I can’t one hundred percent guarantee. I prefer to put in place assurances.’
‘And marrying me is an assurance?’
‘The closest I can get, yes.’ He’d given a light shrug. ‘You can’t deny me, or the baby, that way.’
She’d told herself that it couldn’t be happening. That it wasn’t fair. She’d resisted the urge to run from the room, knowing that it might offer her relief for a moment or two but that ultimately she couldn’t escape Kaspar. Or the conversation.
‘Please. I’ll give you any other assurances you want. Sign any contract you put in front of me.’
‘Of course you will. It will be called a marriage contract.’
‘No.’ Her vehemence had turned Kaspar’s eyes to hard, opal gleams. As though she’d hurt him. But such a notion was ludicrous.
‘If the idea of marrying me is that abhorrent to you, Archana, then surely you can see how I might think you’d leave with our baby the first chance you get.’
But wasn’t that exactly what the problem was? That she didn’t find the idea of marriage to Kaspar so abhorrent. Or at least she only abhorred the idea of a loveless marriage to him. She could tell herself it was because she’d been there and done that. She’d made the mistake of thinking the way she and Joe had cared for each other had been enough. But it hadn’t, and she didn’t want to go through that again. Certainly not with Kaspar.
Because the truth, as much as she’d tried to deny it until now, was that a part of her—a small, childish remnant from her youth, no doubt—was in love with him. And being married to him, without him loving her back in any way, would be too much to bear. How could she stand the fact that he would never be hers? Even if she married him?
Kaspar Athari was his own man. He would never belong to any one. And she wanted so much more than that from him.
Archie paused as the celebrant turned to her now. Her turn to repeat the vows. She didn’t even recognise her own voice. The ceremony could have been happening to someone else. She was still stuck there, in her own head, stuck back in that night.
In her urgency, she’d even asked him exactly what m