‘It’s the most logical solution.’ He offered a curt nod. ‘Once the baby is born, we’ll get divorced. Blame it on my playboy reputation. The press will be expecting that anyway. You can return to the UK. I’ll make the financial arrangements to provide for my child. Once all the furore has died down, which I’m sure won’t take too long, we’ll decide how I can have contact without turning your life, or our baby’s, into a circus.’
She wanted to answer him but she couldn’t speak. Her tongue, like her body, was going numb. She could feel herself shutting down.
‘I’m going for a run,’ he bit out, as if her silence was answer enough. Neither of them mentioned the fact that he’d only just returned from his last one. ‘You should pack. I’ll let my driver know to pick you up and take you to a hotel near the hospital. It’s five-star, and you’ll have my suite.’
‘No...’ she blurted out, but he silenced her with a brief wave of his arm.
‘I’ll cover the costs.’
As if that was her only objection. Still, it was enough to silence her. Clearly he thought so little of her, what was the point in trying to defend herself?
‘Understood.’ Her tone sounded nothing like herself.
For a start it didn’t betray any of the howling pain that raged inside her.
But then she clutched the flimsy dressing gown around her and was grateful she didn’t have nakedness to add to her tearing sense of vulnerability right now.
Too late, Archie realised her mistake. Her action pulled Kaspar up sharply and he raked his hand uncomfortably through his hair.
‘Archie...’ His voice faltered, something so unfamiliar that for a moment she didn’t recognise it for what it was.
And then suddenly she did.
It was pity.
Pride slammed into her. He could reject her, and distance himself, that was his right and there was nothing she could do about it.
But she could make damned sure that, on top of everything else, he didn’t pity her for her pain.
‘What about the press?’ she asked.
‘What? Does it matter?’ He blew out a deep breath. ‘Fine, we’ll tell them it was the safest option. Closer to hospital, and people would always be around if anything...happened while I was away at work.’
So that was it, she realised as her heart actually seemed to slump inside her drooping ribcage. He had an answer for everything, and she had no more excuses.
She had to be strong. She had a baby to consider now. A future in which someone else was counting on her to make the responsible decisions, and she couldn’t ignore that fact. Especially with the way the atmosphere had changed within the room. Heavy. Strained. Foreboding. Even the sunlight getting in on the act since it didn’t quite reach this part of the house, and so the shadow left her standing, quite literally, in the cold.
It took more than she could have imagined to shake off the ridiculous notion.
‘You’re right.’ The words sounded thick, heavy, gungy. She forced herself to say them anyway. ‘It’s best if you go.’
‘Then you agree?’ he bit out, his gaze boring into her until every fibre of her being trembled under its onslaught.
No, I don’t agree, a part of her wanted to scream. But what was the use in arguing?
None of this was enough for her any more. Kaspar was right. Their marriage was a pointless sham. She’d almost convinced herself that if she’d married Joe for practical reasons, then she could certainly stay married to Kaspar. For the sake of their baby. Yet deep down she’d always known it was an entirely different scenario. She’d never craved Joe the way she craved Kaspar. Why spend her life watching him, yearning for more, aching for something that could never be?
‘I agree.’ She thought the words might choke her.
She didn’t know whether it was a relief or a disappointment that they didn’t. Then, with an offhand dip of his head, Kaspar dismissed her. And she let him. She backed out of the door and walked down the hallway on legs that had no business holding her upright.
Just like that, she’d walked out of another marriage. Or Kaspar had pushed her out. Either way, there was no doubt in her mind that this time there would be no getting over it.
* * *
He was doing the right thing.
Pounding down the beach, his legs burning from their fight against the soft sand, Kaspar wondered if any amount of beating his body could ever assuage this agony that ripped through his chest.