Encounter with a Commanding Officer
Page 21
Her concern, so obviously genuine, slammed into Ash, hard. He had never told anyone any of that, preferring to compartmentalise his emotions so that he could do the job he needed to do when he was on the front line. But here, in Razorwire, everything seemed to have a slightly softer focus to it, from the camp to the people. And especially Major Felicity Delaunay.
She seemed to have a habit of getting under his skin and chipping away at the armour he’d spent so many years hammering into place.
She threatened the separation of his two worlds, all endless legs and lithe body as she danced in and out of his thoughts on a daily basis, especially when he was stuck behind that desk trying to get to grips with his new job.
He had never, in fifteen years, lost control as he had that day in the supply room. She made his body thrum with desire simply by standing a couple of feet away. And if he didn’t want to lose control again, then Ash knew there was only one thing he had to do.
Stay well away from Major Felicity Delaunay.
CHAPTER FIVE
FLISS SHIFTED ON the cot-bed—which was currently doubling up as a rickety sunbed—in the quiet nook she and Elle had discovered shortly after arriving at Razorwire. Tucked away between the accommodation shipping containers and the wall of a compound, it was one of the few wonderfully secluded areas on Camp. At least, one that wasn’t on a rooftop.
Usually she revelled in the searing kiss of the sun on her skin, coursing through her body to heat her very bones. Today it just made her feel restless. It wasn’t the sun’s kiss she wanted on her. Despite the heat, goosebumps spread over her torso, her breathing catching at the memory.
Why couldn’t she get Ash out of her head?
It didn’t seem to matter how many times she reminded herself that Ash wasn’t the uncomplicated, steadfast guy she needed, nothing seemed to settle her body’s ache to feel his touch again.
More importantly, it didn’t matter how many times she reminded herself that she wasn’t what Ash wanted, that he had rejected her, it didn’t diminish her attraction to him. And that knowledge caused a perpetual maelstrom to rage in her mind. Because, of all people, she knew how utterly painful it was to be rejected over and over again. Even now she kept hoping each sporadic visit from her mother would be different. And each time it wasn’t she suffered a fresh rejection, and the black void in Fliss’s heart grew that little bit deeper.
So why was she still even entertaining thoughts about Ash after he’d pushed her away so categorically in the supply room barely a week ago?
She shifted on the sunbed, finding it impossible to get comfortable. She already knew the answer to her own question; she just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Doing so would only raise twice as many issues again. But she couldn’t shut her mind off.
The truth was that she didn’t feel rejected. If anything, it had felt more about his baggage than hers. He’d been the one trying to protect himself when she’d asked about the burn scars. Hadn’t he come up on that roof to seek her out? Hadn’t he told her about the scars? Hadn’t he opened up to her?
The fact that he hadn’t tried anything on was a good thing. It meant he truly had trusted her without it being a ploy to get her into bed.
Right?
She couldn’t even talk to Elle, who had headed back home for a two-week R&R, and without her friend Fliss felt lost. She tried to recreate the conversation in her head, but she wasn’t sure she would even have told her best friend about the encounter with Ash.
It was like a little secret that only she knew, and she hugged it to herself as though sharing it would make it pop and disappear like an ethereal bubble in the air. It felt special and fragile, but if she wanted it to have the chance of any more substance then she was going to have to do something about it. In two days’ time she would be gone and the decision would have been made for her.
She sat bolt upright on the sunbed, perturbed at the thought. It seemed like such a waste. Such a squandered opportunity. So what was the alternative? Breaking every rule she had by seeking Ash out to give in to a moment of temptation which would hold no promises, and no future? A fortnight ago she would have scorned the very idea, but now even one night together seemed almost worth it. If only she could find some way to ring-fence her heart.
She reached for the bottle of sunscreen, applying it as though it could do more than protect merely her skin.
If only it was that easy.
Lost in her thoughts, Fliss missed the soft footfalls of a jogger approaching until the figure stopped abruptly, casting a long shadow over her torso and legs. She squinted, lifting one ineffectual hand against the bright sun, even though its gla
re was too bright for her to see. But she didn’t need her eyes to tell her who it was. Her body seemed to know, every delicately fine hair on her body prickling in awareness.
Flustered, she stood up so quickly that she almost toppled. But, unlike in the supply room, this time strong arms steadied her in an instant. She reached out instinctively to brace herself, her hands connecting with one very hot, solid, familiar bare chest.
‘Ooomph!’
‘Easy, you’ll cause yourself injury,’ Ash murmured as Fliss’s entire body seemed to tingle beneath his unabashed, and unmistakably male, appraisal.
And all her courage seemed to float into the air above their heads like a bunch of bobbing balloons and disappear before she could snatch it back.
She snapped her arms across her chest, all too conscious of the revealing, fire-engine-red bikini Elle had loaned her when they’d first discovered the quiet sunbathing spot. The barely-there two-piece, though perfect for her friend’s lean, athletic B-cup body shape, felt entirely too scant on her own more curvaceous D-cup figure. She tugged at the material but that only seemed to make the problem worse.
‘What are you doing here, Colonel?’ she blurted out. ‘First the rooftop, now here? Are you following me?’
It was a daft accusation, a defence mechanism to try to hide her embarrassment, and she wanted to swallow it back the moment it left her lips. But, far from goading him, he actually looked amused.