“Let me tell you what I know, cara,” he said softly. His hand tucked back a long tendril of her hair and she nearly shuddered, just from that small touch. “I know that I’ve felt half dead for the last six months, and getting the news you’ve given me today has brought me back to life.”
“It’s just an emotion. Like you said.” She tried to smile. “Don’t let a fleeting emotion make you do something you’ll regret...”
Nico pulled her into his arms, his dark eyes piercing her soul.
“I want to be your husband. And I am our baby’s father. That is not emotion. That is fact.” He nuzzled her as he whispered, “And I want to be your lover...”
With his arms around her, it was so hard to resist. Her body was already galloping ahead, coming up with a million excuses that would lead to another spectacular night upstairs, and the promise of a lifetime more.
And yet... That was the mistake she’d made at Christmas. Letting her body and heart do the thinking, instead of her brain. And that one simple choice had ended so many of her dreams.
Honora had to be smart now. She wasn’t an innocent, careless girl anymore. In less than three months, she’d be a mother. At twenty-four, she didn’t feel remotely ready for such an enormous responsibility. But it was hers regardless.
She pulled away from him.
“We both know you’re not the type to commit to forever,” she said quietly. At his startled look, she shook her head ruefully. “I don’t mean any insult. But whatever you might be thinking now, we both know who you are. You’re a player, Nico. You’ll never settle down—especially with a woman you don’t love.”
“Perhaps this is my moment,” Nico said. “Finding out I’m going to be a father has changed me. That could change anyone.”
“But it won’t.”
His expression hardened. “Why else would I marry you, except out of duty?”
“For love.” She felt an ache in her throat. How different it would have been if he’d loved her! If they’d already been married. How happy they might have been together, expecting their first baby!
“Then marry me for love,” he said. “You said you loved me the night we conceived our baby.”
How could he throw that in her face? Swallowing hard, she shook her head. “Those were the romantic dreams of a girl. Growing up, I watched you from a distance and you seemed so handsome and powerful, building skyscrapers and traveling the world. But that wasn’t love.”
“What was it, then?”
“Illusion.”
“Fine.” He set his jaw. “How about our child? Doesn’t he or she need a father?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?”
“They keep saying it because it’s true,” he said coldly. “Hate me if you must, for not being the man you wish I could be. But don’t punish our child for it.”
Honora sucked in her breath. Was that what she’d been doing? Punishing him? She hated the thought.
She bit her lip. “If you really want to be part of her life—”
“Her?” Nico’s eyes lit up. “We’re having a girl?”
She nodded. It might have made her happy, seeing the delight on his face
, if it hadn’t made her so sad. “Due in mid-September.”
“A daughter,” he whispered. “A child of my own.”
“You don’t have any other children? You’re sure?”
He shook his head. “I’ve always been careful. I’ve always made utterly certain... I must have been careless that night.” He gave a crooked smile. “Obviously.”
Careless. That was one way of putting it. The lump in her throat became a razor blade. “Me too,” she said in a low voice. “I blamed you...but I made my own choices. I could have insisted you use a condom. I could have chosen not to sleep with you at all.” She lifted her gaze. “I took the risk. My choice. And I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. But I won’t let our baby pay the price.”
“Does that mean you’ll marry me?”