Unrequited Love

When Ryan nodded slowly, Sian closed her eyes and wished she was somewhere else.

“Well, I apologise and will promise you that I shall never be so bold as to do anything like it ever again.”

When she tried to move away, Ryan captured her arm in a firm hold and held her before him.

“You got it wrong,” he chided. “You got it all wrong.”

“What? I have acknowledged that what I did was wrong. I am not wrong in saying that I refuse to marry Ce

drick. It is not wrong to what something more from a marriage,” Sian breathed.

She stared at him and wanted, needed him to suggest marriage to him. She wasn’t at all sure why she should contemplate he would. Just because he had stopped to chat with her didn’t mean he had any intention of showing her even a little bit of interest. But it was something she desperately wanted anyway.

He has come after me. He is here. It must mean something, mustn’t it?

Sian was aware that the most likely reason he had come after her was because of the kiss. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t interested. She didn’t want to hear the words. She didn’t need to hear the words. Even though he didn’t speak, they hovered between them.

“That was not what I was talking about,” Ryan said.

“I shouldn’t want anything out of a marriage?”

“A marriage should be based on the right things.”

“Like what?”

Ryan stared at her. “Respect. Love. Desire. A need to be together.”

Sian stared at him because he had just acknowledged that he agreed with her. “I don’t understand what the problem is then. I don’t want to marry for any other reason, but you expect me to marry Cedrick.”

“I have never said you should marry Cedrick,” Ryan reminded her.

“But that is why you are here.”

“No. I am here because I want to know why you kissed me in your father’s study. Why would you give your family the impression that we were - together?”

“Look, I have said I am sorry. What else can I say?” Sian tried to keep her voice low for fear of someone overhearing them if they had been followed. “It was a mistake.”

“Your father is going to want to know what acquaintance we have that led you to believe kissing me in front of him was all right,” Ryan began. “What do you intend to tell him?”

Sian felt her heart start to crack. It created a hurt deep in her chest the likes of which rose and settled into the back of her throat. When she spoke next her voice was thick, and full of the emotion she daren’t release. It would emerge later, in the form of a steady stream of tears. Right now, Sian forced herself to tip her chin up and stare back at him with a pride that was so strong she wasn’t at all sure where it came from. She had no idea that she was even capable of it.

“Don’t worry. I would never make the mistake of insinuating that there was anything between us.”

“You don’t need to insinuate. Your father got the distinct impression that we are – together,” Ryan murmured.

“I will deal with my father and promise that he won’t expect you to make any offer for me,” she assured him.

Ryan stared hard at her. She looked so stoic that he wondered what he was going to have to do to get her to admit to why she really kissed him. It wasn’t that he minded. In fact, he was inwardly delighted that she had, not least because it had made her father start to think about the fact that he might, one day, have Ryan as a son-in-law. However, something deep inside Ryan compelled him to get Sian to confess to why she had kissed him. He doubted it was something she did on the spur of the moment. There was something behind it – he was sure of it.

Only because I want there to be something behind it. I want her to care about me because otherwise I will have to face the fact that my love will always be unrequited.

“Now, if you will excuse me, I had better be on my way.” Sian straightened her shoulders and looked at the narrow gap in the stones she needed to squeeze through to leave. It was directly behind Ryan, and meant she had to step closer to him, but there was no alternative.

Ryan turned to watch her. As soon as she stepped onto the narrow, flatter surface of the path, he captured her arm again, but this time refused to release her. For a moment, Sian couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“What are you doing?” she squeaked when a long arm slid around her waist and lifted her off her feet.

Sian clung to his shoulders as she found herself swung off the ground before being placed before him. Ryan then planted himself firmly in the path of her exit. She had no choice but to look up at him.