Unrequited Love

Sian jerked awake when she felt something heavy settle over her. Panic clawed at her when she opened her eyes and found her nose inches from a wooden surface. Shoving away from it, she cried out when she almost fell off whatever it was that she was lying on. It took her a moment to remember what it was, where she was, and what had happened.

“How many times am I going to have to ride to your rescue, eh?” Ryan mused ruefully when her eyes opened.

Sian, still clutching the back of the pew, struggled to sit upright and twist around to see him. Her wide-eyes flew around the church when she remembered where she was.

“Are you alone?” she croaked, forcing herself to shake off the sleep that still clung to her senses.

“Th

e others are still dealing with Cedrick and Wilhelmina. Care to tell me what happened?”

When Sian sat up, Ryan perched on the pew beside her and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees. Leaning on his arms stopped him from reaching out to her. He wanted to, more than anything, but desperately needed to talk to her first. He suspected that as soon as he gathered her into a hug, whatever he wanted to discuss would be pushed aside for later, and they would end up being challenged by something else, or someone else. Ryan knew from experience it was imperative they talk now, while they were alone, together, in an isolated church were nobody could interrupt them. He knew they couldn’t because he had locked the main door behind him and had left the key in the lock. From his position on the front pew, Ryan could see that the back door had been bolted, presumably by Sian when she had arrived.

For now, they were safe.

“I want some answers, Sian,” Ryan began.

“About what?”

“Why did you leave this morning?”

“Mother wants to go to Aunt Sophia’s, so I went to town to fetch coaching tickets for us all.”

“You intend to go with your mother and sisters when they leave.” It wasn’t a question.

“I cannot stay if they go. Think of the scandal it would cause. It is bad enough that we are still at your house. People will gossip if you are not careful, and your reputation will be called into question. I think we have inveigled enough on your good nature as it is.”

“Let me guess. That is what Norman said to you last night,” Ryan breathed.

Sian felt her stomach clench with sickening dread. She didn’t want to confirm it and damage his relationship with Norman. Nor did she want Ryan to confirm that he had discussed her leaving with his friend although hadn’t given Norman permission to send her on her way.

“You know about that,” was all she could whisper.

“He told me this morning, and I did not give him permission to mention it to you. He did it without my knowledge and I certainly would never ask you to move on. Why would I? How could I suddenly change my mind when not but an hour previously I had told you and your family that you were welcome to stay for as long as you want? I wasn’t lying when I told you that I get lonely in that house. It is beautiful, but massive and far too big for one person. It has been fun having your sisters’ lively chatter, and someone to talk to and laugh with. For the first time in a very long time, I truly feel as if the house is a home, a proper home that I can live in and have fun in and simply be myself in. I don’t want all the pomp and circumstance most people adore. I don’t want to spend my days bowing and curtseying to the people I want to spend time with. Regardless of my title and wealth, I am just an ordinary person with the same wants and needs as everyone else. I hope you see that.”

“I confess that I didn’t,” Sian sighed.

“Be honest with me, Sian. I think that after all of the help I have tried to give you it is the least I deserve.”

“You deserve so much more,” Sian whispered. “You have been more than generous toward me and my family. You could have delivered me safely back at my father’s house when you rescued me off that ledge, but you didn’t. You brought me back here and looked after me yourself. Not only that but you let my family stay and have helped Martha and Isambard secure a future together. Further, you have done everything possible to stop Wilhelmina and her machinations. I have so much to thank you for but have no way of ever repaying you.”

“Then do so by being honest with me.”

“I am.”

“Are you?”

“How could you doubt it? Why would you think I am lying? What would I have to lie about?”

“I asked you to meet me the other day. Why did you not come?”

Sian blinked at him. “Pardon?”

Ryan looked at her. He mentally cursed at the blank look on her face. “Did you not get my note?”

“What note?” Sian stared at him. “You sent me a note?”

Ryan nodded.