Adoration

‘It is fine. I don’t know those people. I am just a little concerned about how much they are going to gossip about Morgan,’ Sissy whispered.

‘Well, people will tittle-tattle anyway sometimes. It is best to let them get on with it. They are the ones who will end up looking mean and spiteful,’ Norma enthused. ‘I don’t know about you, but I really do want to get out of this maze now. It is a dreadfully confusing place to be.’

Sissy, in complete agreement, allowed her aunt to link arms with her and walked with her out of the maze. She wanted to look over her shoulder at Morgan but couldn’t bring herself to. It hurt just to look at him. His last words hovered over her, reminding her that before she left his house this evening she had a decision to make. As far as she was concerned, she had already made it. It was now a matter of getting her decision across to him because he didn’t seem inclined to want to accept it.

They reached the house a half an hour later only to find Boris, the butler, searching for them.

‘We were lost, Boris. You may serve now,’ Alicia called to the butler before they had even reached the patio outside of the dining room.

Boris nodded and disappeared leaving Sissy and Norma to be escorted inside by a stoically silent and somewhat distant Morgan and Alicia. The meal that followed was somewhat subdued. Conversation was desultory, but it was amiable rather than awkward. Even so, Sissy was glad that it was all over because throughout it all she struggled not to stare at Morgan. She knew that she had to do everything possible to make sure that evenings like this never happened again. From now on she really had to do everything she could to keep her distance from him as much as she was physically able to.

‘Thank you for a delightful evening,’ she murmured politely to Alicia when they were in the entrance hall. The large black carriage which had brought them to the house now stood waiting to return them home. Sissy was glad to see it but then not so glad at the same time.

It is all so very confusing I am not sure what I should feel anymore. The only thing I do feel is love for Morgan. I cannot feel anything beyond that except a deep regret that my future is now ruined.

‘We are going to take a picnic tomorrow, just Alicia and I,’ Morgan said just as Norma and Sissy were about to step out of the house. ‘Would you care to join us? We are just going to the river. There is a wonderful spot that is perfect for the occasion, and quite sheltered.’

Norma’s face broke into a delighted smile but it dimmed slightly when she saw Alicia’s astonished expression. ‘Well, if you are sure,’ she replied a little warily.

‘I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure,’ Morgan assured her.

‘That would be wonderful.’ Norma looked at Sissy but she was too busy staring at Morgan to notice.

‘I will send the carriage for you about noon then,’ Morgan offered.

It took Sissy a moment to realise that Morgan was holding his elbow out to her. With a sigh, Sissy placed her hand on his arm. As she did so her gaze slid up to meet his. A wealth of understanding flowed between them. Sissy knew that if she was going to reject his offer she had to do it now, but Alicia stepped forward and stopped her before she could.

‘Right, well, Hargreaves is waiting. Richards, drop the step if you would,’ Alicia called to the footman.

Sissy was aware of Morgan’s gaze on her the entire time she walked to the carriage. Amidst a chorus of goodbyes, he stood beside her and waited for Norma to clamber aboard. When it was Sissy’s turn, he didn’t just hand her aboard, he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand as his gaze remained locked on hers. Hidden within the depths of his dark gaze lay a variety of promises and intrigues which made Sissy excited as much as worried.

‘Until tomorrow,’ he murmured quietly.

Sissy felt her stomach flip. In those two words, Morgan had shaken her resolve so easily it was a little disconcerting. Later, she found that she couldn’t remember him handing her into the carriage or closing the door before stepping back to join his mother at the bottom of the stone steps. What she could remember was his gaze lingering on her until the turning of the carriage broke his steady regard. What it all meant she couldn’t be sure; she daren’t even contemplate, but she went to sleep with a smile on her face, and a heart full of hope once again.

CHAPTER TWELVE

The following morning, Sissy left the house still content with her world. She was looking forward to spending the day with Morgan, and purposefully avoided all thoughts of whether it was the right thing to do. Swinging the basket in her hand, she hummed quietly to herself as she walked to the shops on the main street.

It was only when she turned into the main thoroughfare that she realised something was wrong. At first, one or two curious looks from passers-by were too evident to be natural glances. She nodded but received greetings that were wary and awkward. She shrugged it off as nothing worrying, until she reached the grocery shop. The silence that fell upon the shop when she stepped inside was enough to make her glance at the door sign to make sure that it was open. But other customers were inside, waiting for Mr Marley to serve them. She looked at one or two she was familiar with. They smiled and nodded but with none of their previous joyous greetings. There seemed to be a wariness about them all.

At first, the silence was heavy, but as time passed it was eventually interrupted by the quiet murmur of voices. It took a few moments for Sissy to realise that the whispers were about her. She sucked in a breath, squared her shoulders, and forced herself to ignore them.

‘They will stop,’ Maud Biggins whispered from behind her. ‘Nothing is forever, my dear. Remember that. Life is short, and temporary. Take what you can from it, do what you can no matter how many try to stop you because it is you who has to look back on your life and be content that you did your best, not anybody else. You are the one who has to reconcile yourself with the past and the mistakes or

wrong choices you made. Nobody should tell you whether what you choose to do is wrong or right. If you stay within the remit of the law, nobody can judge you. Those who do are not responsible, don’t have homes like you do, and have probably not lived their lives in the same way. Don’t let how others judge you mould your decisions. You only get one life. Live it.’

Sissy stared at Norma’s friend whose sentiment was clear in Maud’s rheumy eyes. She truly meant every word she said. The more Sissy contemplated it the more she knew Maud was right. When she looked at the other occupants of the shop she saw them for the spiteful beings they were. Rather than be upset, or worried about their gossip, she stared at each person who turned to look at her. It was telling how swiftly their gazes were averted and they turned their backs. It was telling how few of them could actually meet her gaze. It was as if they knew what they were doing was wrong but the need to gossip was too tempting for them to resist.

‘You don’t want to worry what people like them say. You don’t need the opinions of people like that. They will be just as spiteful to someone else who does something like live their lives. When they are talking about you and criticising you they aren’t going about their own lives, are they?’ When Maud spoke, she did so more loudly than before.

Several people coughed and shifted uncomfortably as the barbs struck home. Several collected their purchases and left the shop. When some turned to throw one last look at Sissy, she lifted a condemning brow in their direction, her face cold and hard. They weren’t friends anyway. It didn’t really matter what they thought of her.

‘Norma is going to be upset. She has known some of these people for a long time,’ Sissy whispered when most of the customers had left.

‘But you didn’t socialise with them when you were living in the manor house, did you? They gossiped about you then, but you survived,’ Maud argued. ‘Don’t let anything they say worry you. A lot of it is nothing more than speculation and suspicion.’

‘What are they saying?’ Sissy asked the grocer.