Adoration

The grocer looked about to faint. When his wife moved forward to grab his arm, he shook her off like she was a pesky child. ‘Ma’am, is there something we have done to offend you?’ The grocer asked, stepping forward to peer into the carriage at her. He slid a look at Sissy which effectively made it clear he considered his loss of business all her fault.

‘I just don’t condone your conduct, sir,’ Alicia snapped. ‘Sissy is a long-standing family friend of mine and I don’t accept the slur you and your wife have put on her good character by spreading malicious rumours about her, and my son. She is not my son’s mistress, no matter what your crones think they saw. Now do your spiteful gossip elsewhere and consider our business with you concluded. Good day, sir. Hargreaves, move on.’

The carriage immediately lurched into action leaving the grocer gaping after her in stunned disbelief. Sissy watched the last of the houses on the road disappear in consternation.

‘I suppose you are wondering why I have just done that,’ Alicia murmured, seemingly completely unaffected by what had just happened.

‘You do know that you have probably just ruined his business, don’t you?’ Sissy announced.

‘Do you care? Would you like me to go back and tell him it was all a mistake? I shan’t you know. I truly don’t condone gossips,’ Alicia retorted. ‘Nor should you.’

‘It is difficult to ignore it,’ Sissy replied.

Alicia sighed. ‘I don’t understand because I live in my ivory castle in the Dowager House, you mean? I am rich and wealthy and don’t understand what the scorn of people like them are like? You think that I don’t understand how much you are watched everywhere you go and criticised sometimes just for being alive if someone takes a disliking to you. That whenever you go out, you are forced to put on a front that is rigid and stiff, overly formal and suffocating, not because it is the polite way to behave but because you daren’t put a step wrong in case the parasites tear your life, your good name, your reputation, your character apart just for something to do.’

It was indeed how Sissy had lived her life thus far. She was stunned that Alicia understood.

‘You know what people have been saying about me being Morgan’s mistress.’ It wasn’t really a question.

‘I know that they have been besmirching your reputation. I know that most of the gossip has stemmed from the grocer’s wife, whose sister lives in one of the riverside cottages you walked past with Morgan the other week. I know that they are discussing you having ideas above your station and they are all waiting for Morgan to make a fool of you so they can piously declare that they knew all along that it was all going to end in tears.’

‘How? How do you know all this?’ Sissy cried, struggling to contain her distress.

‘Because I have house staff, my dear. Staff who live near here and listen to the gossip for me. I don’t have to come to the village to listen to it myself. I cannot come to the village and listen to it myself because each time I do I end up like you. People gossip and stare but rarely gossip in front of me. They wouldn’t dream of taking me into their confidence. People look pointedly at me, as if questioning why I should be amongst them. I know that as soon as my back is turned, they will consider me scornfully wealthy and criticise me even without bothering to find out who I am. People like that never change no matter how much money they have in their pockets. It is who they are. Our lives, our experiences, are not really all that different. Being locked in a gilded cage can be just as confining as walking amongst a crowd of strangers all prepared to condemn you just because they feel like it.’

Sissy stared at her in amazement. ‘I had no idea.’

‘No, because you were too young to move about the ballrooms of ton. Even if your father had allowed you to frequent them, you would have been too young to really understand what goes on behind gossipy hands. I do. I am sad to say that I too have traded my fair share of juicy gossip, but I only gossiped about people who I knew really behaved scandalously. Tearing apart someone’s character for fun is nothing short of criminal, and so debase that the people who do it aren’t worthy of even the time it takes to scorn them.’ There was something final in Alicia’s voice, as if she had long since come to the decisions she had and had no intention of ever seeing anything differently.

Not that Sissy could persuade her that anything had to be considered in any other way.

Because I have never moved about in the ballrooms Morgan frequents.

‘You really do need to spend more time with him, you know. He doesn’t like going to balls and the like either. I think that is what has caused so much discord between him and Mariette. As she has matured she has taken to dragging him wherever she wants to go. She has, unfortunately, just assumed that he would be happy to escort her, and of late has taken it upon herself to accept invitations on their behalf without even asking him. He detests it and has told her to stop, much to her disgust. I think that might be why she has taken so verbally against your presence in the house. It stops her having Morgan free to escort her wherever she wants to go. It is purely selfish, I agree, and something we do intend to put a stop to given Morgan shouldn’t feel obliged to escort Mariette everywhere. You have seen Morgan. He is a mature man who is firmly in command of his own world. You have also seen Mariette’s friends and how childish and brash they are. Can you really see Morgan tolerating spending his evenings in their company? He has tried, bless him, but even he has his limits.’

‘How is he?’ Sissy asked.

Alicia sighed. ‘Doing his best to stay away from you. It is my fault, I am afraid. I warned him after the picnic that he was going to cause you problems if he called upon you too often.

I had hoped that absence would make him contemplate what he was doing but he is thoroughly miserable.’

‘Miserable?’ Sissy whispered, her heart lurching.

‘Yes, he is miserable. I had hoped that he would-’

‘Have second thoughts,’ Sissy finished for her when Alicia looked as if she was struggling to find the right words to use that would cause the least offense. ‘I am not offended. I have told him that there can be nothing between us.’

‘Whatever for?’ Alicia cried, openly shocked.

‘Well, because people are going to gossip about him. The idea of a marriage between us is so preposterous that people have already assumed that my connection with Morgan is founded on my being his mistress. According to the locals I am worthy of nothing more than being his lover.’

Alicia sighed. ‘Morgan isn’t the blind fool you think he is. He wouldn’t be the kind of man who would approach you if he didn’t see a way through all of this. If he tells you that he is prepared to accept something it is usually because he is genuinely prepared to accept something. He doesn’t lie. In fact, Morgan is about the most straight talking person I know.’

Sissy smiled. She secretly knew that he got that trait of his equally forthright mother but didn’t mention it to Alicia.

‘That journey didn’t last very long,’ Sissy said when she looked out of the window and saw the huge grocery shop window in Conley Bridge.

‘I am going to place our order for Friday. I do hope he can deliver it or Morgan is going to have a conniption,’ Alicia sighed.