Cinders and Ashes (Cavendish Mysteries 2)
Page 54
With each word she heard, Amelia felt her heart break a little bit more. He was completely right in everything he had said. He just hadn’t mentioned loving her, and she could accept nothing less.
“I don’t want to end up with a marriage like my parents’,” Amelia confessed, staring at her feet with a frown.
“But we won’t, Amelia. Not only are we different people, but we have faced adversity and come out stronger. We work. There is really no reason other than your foibles that is keeping us apart.”
“Foibles?” Amelia felt her temper rise as she stared at him. “Foibles? You just don’t understand do you? What I want isn’t a foible. I don’t want to be married to a man who realises he cannot love me as I love him, and takes a mistress. That isn’t a marriage. It is an alliance, and I know firsthand how such alliances can destroy people.”
Sebastian tried to hold her hands, but she pulled away swiftly, needing to put some distance between them. Whenever she stood close to him, she was distracted by his blatant masculinity and had to fight the urge to give in to whatever he demanded from her.
“You really have no choice. You are a lady, and there are certain expectations on you to behave in such a way. Having a child out of wedlock would bring scandal upon your father and his new bride that neither would be able to live down.”
“I don’t know if I am with child yet,” Amelia snapped, feeling cornered. She made for the doorway, holding her hand up when he moved to follow her. “I need time to think.”
She paused, staring blankly out at the gardens below for several moments before taking a deep breath.
“Tell me something, Sebastian. Do you love me?” Her voice was quiet and calm as she asked the most important question of her life. She turned to look at him.
Her heart sank at his look of stunned surprised. She knew the truth. He had never even contemplated the possibility. His shocked silence and the look of wariness on his face was all she needed to know.
“When my father leaves in a few days, I shall be leaving with him.” She didn’t look back as she left the pavilion, and was quietly relieved when he made no move to follow her as she crossed the garden.
At the far side of the house, she spied the hedged wall leading to the rose garden and headed in that direction. She needed somewhere away from prying eyes to just be by herself, and gather the pieces of her torn and bleeding heart. In the morning, she would talk to her father about leaving as soon as possible.
She wasn’t certain how long she sat in the garden listening to the buzzing of the bees, and the chirping of the birds in the trees. Slowly, she became aware of being chilled and reluctantly eyed the dark clouds roiling ahead. Drawing her shawl around her shoulders with a shiver, she began to walk the outer path towards the entrance of the garden.
She didn’t see the menacing bulk lurking in the darkest shadows of the hedgerow until she was suddenly caught from behind. She didn’t have time to scream. A foul-smelling cloth was placed over her mouth, and immediately the world went black.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sebastian was steadily downing his finest brandy when Isobel wandered into the study several house later.
“Not now, Isobel, I am really not in the mood.” He scowled at her when she entered anyway.
“Do you know where Amelia is?” Isobel eyed him with concern. “She isn’t in her room, and nobody has seen her.”
“She is probably hiding somewhere so I don’t ask her to marry me again.” He took another swig of the amber liquid, and felt his stomach churn in revolt against the copious amount it was being asked to deal with. He hoped oblivion came first. Anything to take away the fierce ache in his chest that had blossomed when Amelia had left the pavilion.
“Why do women always have to make things so complicated?” he grumbled, shoving to his feet, and tugging on the bell pull until Hodgkiss arrived.
“Search for Amelia please, Hodgkiss, for my lady here.” He lifted his glass again and filled it, glaring at Isobel sternly before resuming his seat. “If you don’t mind.”
As she left, Sebastian ran his hand down his face wearily and waited. True to form, Dominic, Peter and Edward arrived minutes later.
“What’s wrong?” Dominic snatched the goblet away from his half-drunk brother, and tossed the expensive amber liquid casually into the fire.
“That’s my finest brandy,” Sebastian snarled, staring at the smoke billowing out of his hearth in resignation.
“Where’s Amelia?” Peter asked, eyeing the highly sullen expression on Sebastian’s face with alarm. Usually Sebastian was about as even tempered as anyone he had ever met. Something must be seriously wrong for him to be so surly.
“How in the
hell should I know?” Sebastian snapped, rising to get another goblet. “I’m not her keeper.”
“You are usually near her, or know exactly where she is.” Edward argued as he shared a knowing glance with Dominic.
“Not any more. She is leaving in the next few days to go home to Eastleigh.” Sebastian rested a hand on the mantle and watched the flames burning fiercely in the grate. It resembled his aspirations for future happiness. Going up in smoke.
“She refused to marry you?” Dominic queried with a frown. “But she loves you, any fool can see that.”