His stalwart determination forced his thoughts towards their current situation. He could make love to her. After all she was already ruined due to the fact they had already spent two nights alone together. A third night sharing a room would be the clincher. Although she wasn’t entitled and wealthy and had no relative or guardian to demand recompense for her ruined virtue, his own conscience wouldn’t allow him to press her into making such a life changing decision as sleeping with him.
He also had to consider his own reluctance to marry. When he had agreed to help Peter, the last thing he had expected was to land himself in the middle of a mad flight across country, being chased by marauding smugglers. But she was a woman and like most women of his experience, trouble was her middle name. He shouldn’t be surprised to find himself in the middle of the mess they were in but that didn’t mean he had to like it, and it didn’t mean that he had to change his future plans to avoid matrimony.
He considered the wealth of trouble she brought with her. Even if they did get to Padstow and back to Leicestershire in one piece, there was still the not insignificant problem of elusive Jemima to resolve. Not one, but two bundles of trouble. Moreover there was Peter to consider. While he was happy to help Peter find his wayward obsession, he had no intention of sacrificing his own wants and needs for anyone. No matter how deliciously tempting they might be.
Despite her earlier hunger, Eliza ate sparingly. Glancing across the table at the muscle ticking steadily in his jaw, she wondered what had happened to annoy him so.
“Is there any sign of Scraggan’s men?” She wondered if he had seen them and that was what had disturbed him.
“Nope.” Edward murmured, refusing to look at her.
Eliza frowned across the table at him, wondering if she had done something to raise his ire.
“Eat your meal.” Edward ordered, barely flicking her a glance before pushing away from the table and move his chair to sit directly facing the fire. “When you have finished I suggest you get some sleep.” His voice was distant, as though he had already closed her out.
Eliza grew increasingly certain he was angry with her for some reason but for the life of her couldn’t fathom what she had done to cause it. With a frown she pushed away from the table and stood, wondering if she would ever understand the complexity of men.
She was half way to the bed when she shivered as the cold material of her shirt brushed her skin. She glanced down at the cloth covering the damp material of her chest and felt her cheeks heat at the near nudity she saw. There was very little unidentifiable through the damp cloth.
She swallowed and felt a little sick as she considered just exactly what Edward had seen. Clearly he was uncomfortable at being faced with her ignorance but was too much of a gentleman to draw her attention to her faux pas. With a trembling hand she pulled the soft folds of cloth off her chest and winced at the coolness of the damp material. She had been so intent on the food and Edward’s strange behaviour she hadn’t felt the coolness of the cloth against her skin.
Glancing quickly towards the fire she studied Edward’s rigid back, a tiny pang of hurt blossoming within her chest. The sight of her near nakedness had done little but make him awkward and uncomfortable rather than aroused. She felt a surge of humiliation as she slid between the covers on one side of the large bed, taking a moment to tug the sodden shirt off and shake it out. With nowhere to put it, she draped it over the end of the bed and quickly lay back down, tugging the covers up to her ears before curling into a tight ball of misery.
She knew she was plumper than most women, with more curves than was wise but she wasn’t fat. Although she didn’t scare children, nobody could class her as beautiful. Jemima was the one who usually had men turning themselves into fools over her. Eliza wondered if Edward would have shown more interest in Jemima had she been with him and secretly she knew so.
She knew she should be vastly relieved he didn’t have any sexual interest in her, and her virtue was safe in his presence, but it still stung her feminine pride that a man like Edward could see her nakedness displayed so brazenly and not be affected by anything other than awkwardness.
Edward slid between the covers later that night, well aware that Eliza was still awake. He had taken a few moments to shake out her wet shirt and drape it over the back of the chair to dry and had seen the flutter of her eyelids as he had turned.
From her position perched on the last two inches of the bed, she couldn’t be comfortable. He could feel the tension shimmering around her and knew she had realised what she had so unwittingly revealed to him and felt embarrassed about it. Was she as disappointed as he was that he hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity to bed her?
“I’m trying to protect you.” He murmured softly into the darkness, wondering if she understood.
“I know.” She whispered after several lengthy minutes of stilted silence. “I’m sorry for not realising about my shirt. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Despite his offer of help, he was only trying to help his family. If you ignored the fact he was only there through moral obligation to his family, there was a social distance between them that couldn’t be overcome. He was a member of the Ton; aristocracy. She was the daughter of a magistrate and at best lower gentry. They had no future together even if they did make their association intimate. It would be sheer folly to allow anything to develop between them. The only thing she had left was her virtue and she couldn’t in all conscience throw it to one side to lie with someone who could never be hers.
Eliza’s heart clenched painfully in her chest and she wondered if she would ever find anyone half as wonderfully frustrating as the man beside her. Somehow, she knew she wouldn’t and the thought hurt. A lot.
“I’ve seen worse.” He replied, a small smile of mischief twinkled in his eye as he recalled the delectable, highly distracting sight she made eating her meal practically naked.
Silence settled around them and within minutes Eliza heard his low snore. She concentrated on blanking out all thoughts except for his rhythmic breathing and within moments slipped quietly into sleep.
He waited for her to relax beside him and stared blankly into the darkness. He frowned and considered the affect she had on him. Everything he had considered he wanted for his future suddenly seemed so mundane and boring he wasn’t sure he would be happy with it. The image of domesticity earlier that morning flittered through his mind and left him wondering if he wasn’t being a coward by refusing to consider sharing his future with her.
After all, despite his best attempts at avoiding it, like his brothers he was now mired knee deep in the troubles brought to his door by a female who had more of a claim on him than he felt comfortable with.
Although there was the class issue, it was easily surmountable. He moved on the very edges of the Ton through choice and had no intention of becoming steadfast member who worked the social circuits. The last thing he wanted was a wife who desired that kind of lifestyle, feeling she was being cheated by spending prolonged periods in the country.
Life for him for the foreseeable future would involve long hours of hard work to get his estates established and thriving. He didn’t need the encumbrance of a wife, even one as delightful and sexually appealing as Eliza, but could he live without her? A shadow of concern lurked in his mind and left him in no doubt that he had to reconsider his own future and seriously contemplate the possibility that his future was already entwined with Eliza’s.
He woke up just before dawn to find Eliza already up and dressed and waiting in the chair beside the roaring hearth.
“Good morning.” His deep voice was husky with sleep as he rose on one elbow to study her. Although wild horses wouldn’t be able to drag it out of him, he wanted – needed – the first thing he saw in a morning to be her. Inevitably, sometime during the night his body had searched out hers and had only truly relaxed once she had settled against him.
“Morning.” Eliza turned from her study of the flickering flames to offer him a quick, fleeting smile.
“Did you sleep well?”