Mistaken Identity (Saved By Desire 4)

He coughed a little when smoke tormented the back of his throat. A thick fog swirled around them, but he could still see through eyes that stung. The thin shaft of light coming from the doorway guided him toward safety from the flames. He knew that as long as he could get outside to the crisp, clean air, everything would be alright.

“Go to Hell,” Sayers growled as he eyed the window. “I am telling you nothing.”

In one swift motion, he spun around and shot at Marcus. Plaster dust exploded into the room. Marcus threw himself onto the floor and crawled the last few feet across the floor to retrieve his gun. The air was easier to breathe down there, but he was vulnerable to Sayers’ boot, which landed in his midriff with stunning force, and snatched what was left of his breath.

Jess stared in horror and began to fight Sayers’ restraining hold.

“Marcus!” she cried.

She was so desperate to get to Marcus that she didn’t see the fist Sayers swung. It came out of nowhere and slammed into the side of her head with startling force and stole her breath. Stars burst behind her eyes as a jagged streak of pain exploded up the side of her head. The room swirled. She hoped she would faint so the horrible pain and sickness would fade, but she didn’t.

Marcus knew that Sayers would have to re-load. When he loosened his hold on Jess and focused his attention on doing just that, Marcus threw himself at Jess. They landed on the floor behind the table with a heavy thump, several feet away from Sayers. Now that she was safe, Marcus shielded her with his body and immediately tried to take aim. Before he got to fire a shot, Sayers suddenly crashed through the window and disappeared into the garden.

Marcus reached the window in time to watch him race through the gardens toward the woods with Barnaby in hot pursuit.

“Are you alright?” Marcus demanded, hauling Jess bodily upright until she was on her feet.

Jess struggled to get her breath back but nodded jerkily.

“Marcus,” she pleaded.

“I have to go after him,” Marcus ground out.

Capturing the back of her head, he slammed a kiss on her lips that was nothing short of brutal. She didn’t even get the time to return the caress before she was carried outside and placed on her feet far enough away from the house to be safe.

“Stay there,” Marcus shouted.

Jess watched him disappear into the trees, but couldn’t summon the strength to call him back. It was essential that he stopped Sayers from causing any more damage. She knew it. At the moment, she was just so glad that he had come to the rescue, and they were both free of the criminal.

Her lungs began to burn with the stench of the acrid smoke that billowed out of the house. In a daze, she turned around and watched hungry flames begin to lick at the dining table, but she wasn’t going to go back inside to try to salvage anything. She would be perfectly happy if she never went back into that house again.

It had been her family home for all of her life. She had been born there, had enjoyed many happy hours of racing up and down the halls with her brother. She had cried there when her father died, and then her mother. Her life had always been dedicated to running it so it could provide her and Ben with a roof over their heads.

Unfortunately, living there was like feeding a hungry beast. It didn’t matter what she did, or how she did it. It didn’t matter how many long hours she worked, how hard she scrubbed, or how many floors she cleaned. It was never enough.

She knew now that it could never be enough.

It would only ever be a husk of a house; a shadow of its former self; a hint of what it might have been if circumstances had been different.

She knew now that she could spend the rest of her life trying desperately to turn it into a home the likes of which other people took for granted, but she would never be able to. It wasn’t a home. It wasn’t a proper home. It was in a state of disrepair that could never, ever, be put right. It needed an owner with more money than she had, and more time than she possessed.

The longer she watched the dining room being swallowed up by the flames, the more she felt her life start to change. It was as though all of her hopes, dreams, and aspirations in life were turning into ash, and falling at her feet. In doing so, they paved a way toward a new and entirely unexpected life.

She hoped it could be with Marcus, but she wasn’t sure it could be. Even after his loving declaration, she still couldn’t believe that Marcus could love someone like her. But he said he did. Until she could speak with him about it, she just didn’t hope.

She stared blankly into the flames but, rather than feel the wave of helplessness she knew she should feel; she grew stronger. Unfortunately, she had no idea what to do next; how to deal with the situation she now faced. There was only one of her. She couldn’t fight the fire by herself. Even if she could eradicate the worst of the dizziness to fetch the buckets, she wouldn’t be able to carry them fast enough to battle the hungry flames. They threatened to steal her very soul if she went back in there, and she was finished sacrificing herself to keep it.

The flames consumed every ounce of energy, good intention, will, and fierce determination she had ever possessed, snatching it off her with hungry jaws. There was nothing left of the room that had become encased in shadow and smoke. It had disappeared into the thick fog never to be seen again. If she was honest, she wasn’t all that sorry to see it go. Staring, as she was, into the empty carcass of what had once been her life, the place where she could take sustenance, she was cut free of the burden. The confines of her duties, the responsibilities, her desperation to cling to hope, home, hearth, kith, and kin, were cut carefully out of her life, casting her free to become a person at last.

Shaken, she listened to the crackle, pop, and hissing contempt of the flames for a moment before she forced herself to walk deeper into the garden, and a brand new future. The further she got away from the house, the clearer the air became until she was able to breathe again. That fresh air cleansed her very soul; and gave her the ability to work her way through the panic, and focus on what to do next.

What could she do next? Everything she had been was in that house. It was all she had ever owned. For it to be turned into ash like this seemed like the cruellest trick Fate could play. It was as though all of Ben’s prayers had been answered, and she had lost the majority of her life’s work.

Still, her feet wouldn’t move. She couldn’t go back in there, not even to attempt to salvage one small ornament as a momento. Instead, she took a seat on the grass and breathed in the crisp air. The wet grass immediately saturated her skirt, but she didn’t feel it, nor was she aware of the goose bumps on the bare skin of her arms. She didn’t feel anything really. She was shocked, but couldn’t think past the huge wave of relief that stole her senses. The horror of watching her home burn was washed away by the gentle pitter-patter of rain that began to drip around her; cleansing her very soul of everything.

She knew then that she had been a fool. To push to keep a house the size of the lodgings had meant that she had paid a very hefty price. She had spent years of her life hoping for something that would never happen; teased by the ghost of a house that could have been a home. She should have felt like a failure – but she didn’t. She was a person; one being who couldn’t fight everything all of the time.