Hiding Rose (Saved By Desire 5)

Rose barely touched the narrow confines of the bed before she was pressed into the hard surface by his weight when he followed her down. She welcomed him with loving arms and barely noticed the blanket slithering away to reveal her nakedness. For now, Barnaby was her protection – in more ways than one.

“Tell me to stop,” he demanded when he found the strength to lift his head.

“Stop,” she whispered half-heartedly because that is what he had asked her to do. She then did what she wanted to do. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded.

When Barnaby merely looked steadily at her, she captured his head in her hands and dragged his head back down to hers. At first, she thought he was going to object because he hesitated, but only for a fraction of a second. Rather than kiss her longingly the way she wanted him to, he placed a single kiss on her lips before he rested his forehead against hers.

“You don’t know what you are asking,” he murmured. “We can’t do this. I can’t offer you anything.”

He wanted her – more than he had wanted any woman for a very long time yet he still couldn’t bring himself to offer her the things he knew she should demand from any lover. She should expect hearts and flowers, not a brief tryst in an isolated hut while running away from London’s seedy underworld.

“I am not asking you for anything,” Rose whispered. Something within her began to break free and crumble but she wasn’t sure what it was. The reluctance in him was something she had not expected to see and it was humiliating. “You were the one who dragged me here, remember? I didn’t ask to come with you.”

“I know, but I have to keep you safe, Rose. It is my job,” Barnaby replied. He winced when he realised how that sounded.

Rose felt heat flood her cheeks and knew then that her humiliation was complete. She hadn’t even known what she was offering, but he had rejected it. Suddenly, the way they were lying so intimately became considerably less pleasant than it had been a moment ago. It now felt awkward and uncomfortable. The hard boards beneath the straw bedding bit painfully into her back. The coarseness of the rough blanket offered her no comfort now that she was cold. Deep inside, a wintry chill settled around her heart that Rose suspected was never likely to thaw. Unsure what to do to cover her awkwardness and not make a bad situation worse she began to look for the blanket.

“Rose,” Barnaby murmured gently.

“I have lost the blanket again. I need to see if my dress is dry,” she said silently telling him that she didn’t want to discuss this.

I don’t know why he thinks I would want to talk to him about his rejection. He doesn’t want me. What else is there to discuss? Rose thought. When tears began to sting her eyes, she squirmed in earnest beneath him, eager to get free.

While this response was the one Barnaby needed to be able to maintain a more professional distance between them, to see Rose crying was awful. He wanted to offer her some sort of comfort but knew it would lead to a lot more than a few hugs if he did. He daren’t even try it.

“We barely know each other, Rose,” he reminded her. “Why, this time yesterday we hadn’t even met.”

“I know,” she replied. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“It is just worry, fear, and the fact that we are alone together, that’s all,” Barnaby assured her gently. “It is the wrong reason to allow things to go further between us. Maybe once we know each other a little better you will see things differently.”

Rose nodded even though she knew that was not likely to happen. The questions she had asked him hours ago still remained unanswered. After this she didn’t think she could bring herself to ask him anything else. She suspected he still wouldn’t answer. He didn’t seem to want any kind of connection with her, and that was deeply upsetting because she did.

“It is fine,” she said offering him a brave smile that quivered ever so slightly at the corners. “It’s fine.”

Barnaby sighed and rolled off her to sit on the edge of the bed. He remained with his back toward her for a while to give her time to cover herself with the blanket.

“Do you need help to get back to the table?” he asked wryly as he studied the pile of unused blanket on the floor beneath her feet.

“No, thank you,” Rose whispered. “I can manage.” Bending down, she picked up the trailing ends of the material and draped them over her arm almost regally before she glided toward the fireplace. Her dress had blessedly dried enough to put on without her catching influenza.

“You can’t put that on,” Barnaby protested.

“It is fine,” Rose assured him.

“No, Rose. You need to wear this disguise. The men we encountered last night will recognise that dress from a mile away. You need to wear something else.” Barnaby handed her a clean set of clothes and nodded toward the bed area of the tiny hut. He didn’t wait to see if she would put the clothes on. Instead, he picked up his plate, ambled over to the window and stared outside while he waited for her to get dressed.

Now that she was alone, Rose allowed herself the luxury of allowing a few tears to fall. Doing so released some of the tension hidden beneath the surface. Unfortunately, it was considerably harder than she realised to stop them again, dry her cheeks, and plaster an insincere ex

pression on her face, but she did and squared her shoulders militarily as she turned to face the room again. The trousers Barnaby had brought were far too long, but at least they were warm and, together with the shirt and a thick woollen cloak, covered any trace of the innocent young woman who had been accosted at the ball last night.

“Right,” Barnaby said forcefully once she was dressed. “Let’s eat and then we will get some rest. We will wait until night-fall and then make our way to Portsmouth.”

Pleased to have something else to think about other than the hurt lingering around her heart, Rose took a seat and began to eat the food she didn’t taste.

“Why wait until night-time? Won’t it be even more dangerous out there if we can’t see where we are going?”

After what had happened, Rose knew she had to stop looking toward Barnaby for everything. She had to start to assert herself, and was determined now to challenge his plans if she didn’t feel they were right for her. She had no idea where this pseudo-bravado was coming from, but if it gave her the strength to face the next few days in his company without revealing her inner heartbreak then she would embrace it.