“But you will afterward,” he warned. “There will be no going back. Are you ready for that, Rose? Are you ready for another situation beyond your control because I will accept nothing less than your complete compliance in what has to come after?”
“What’s that?” she whispered. For the first time she started to doubt this was right after all.
“You will have to marry me, whether you like it or not. As far as this hotel is concerned, we are registered here as Mr and Mrs Allen. They won’t think twice about us sharing a bed together. However, the men I work with are an entirely different matter. My colleagues have certain expectations of me as a man. It is wrong of me to seduce someone I am supposed to protect. It is a, well, a kind of code of ours. A code of conduct.”
“But that is your work. This is between us,” she protested.
“I am my work, Rose. We go together. If we go any further with this right now, the decision of whether your future lies with me will no longer be yours. There will be an expectation for you to marry me. However, I warn you now that I cannot give up my work. I will not surrender myself to matrimony. The Star Elite is a part of me. If we marry you will have to accept that my time will not be completely focused on you. I will be gone for long periods of time. You will often not even know where I am or when I will be back and I can offer you no promises. My work is dangerous, as you know. There is always the possibility that I can’t come back to you. If you are happy with that arrangement then we will take this further. If not, you need to tell me to stop right now, Rose, because we cannot ever go back to the way things were if we take this final step.”
Rose stared at him and felt every dream she had ever had for as long as she could remember shatter. This was not in any way the kind of marriage proposal she had expected. In fact, it was the least romantic proposal she had ever heard. The harshness in his voice when he had spoken about marriage sounded more like a dire warning than an affirmation of a promising life together. She shivered as she studied the watchfulness in his eyes. It felt as though he had just poured a bucket of cold water over her. While she was attracted to him, maybe even loved him, she wasn’t sure she could ignore who she was for a chance to be with him.
Barnaby read the doubt on her face and knew he was right to issue the warning. Inwardly, he knew that no woman was going to accept a life with him on those terms, especially Rose. It was harsh to expect it of her, but he couldn’t ignore the surge of bitterness that stormed through him as he pushed away from her and stood up.
“Go and take a bath or the water will go cold. I need to meet with the others. There is work to do.” He didn’t wait for her to reply and slammed out of the room without a backward look.
Rose stared at the closed door and felt a hot tear slide slowly down her chilled cheek. Bereft, she slowly pushed herself upright. What had felt warm and wonderful just a few moments earlier now felt wr
ong. So very terribly wrong that she wasn’t sure what to do about it. As delightful as Barnaby’s love-making was, it could not happen again. She couldn’t accept marriage to him on the terms he offered. It was evident that he would consider marriage to her a burden – something that took him away from the beloved work he did. She couldn’t bear to spend her life being any man’s obligation, especially Barnaby’s.
“You don’t need any more warning than that. He isn’t the man for you,” she whispered aloud.
Quickly hurrying into the bedroom, she closed the shutters and curtains and divested herself of her clothing. Seconds later, she slid into the hot, steaming water with a deep sigh. Without anything to tie her hair out of her face she draped it over the edge of the bath and sank low in the water. It was sublime to bathe in the soothing water and allow it to ease her aches and pains. It was a pity it could do nothing about the ache around her heart.
“Your life needs to be rebuilt somewhere else,” she whispered to herself. “Somewhere far away from Barnaby.” The thought saddened her. So much so that tears began to fall in earnest, and this time she made no attempt to stop them.
Half an hour later, she was so lost in her misery that at first she didn’t realise the water had gone cold. It was only when she moved and felt goose bumps ripple across her skin that she stood up.
“There is no towel.” She hadn’t stopped to think about things like towels before she had submerged herself in the blissful water. Now, she was cold, wet, and had no way of drying herself. “Fool,” she muttered as she stepped out of the bath.
The sudden slam of a door nearby made her jump.
“I forgot to lock the door,” she whispered in horror. Cursing her own foolishness she stood still and listened. Her gaze flew to the doorway when she saw the flurry of movement out of the corner of her eye, but it was too late to find something to cover herself with now. Barnaby was already in the doorway.
Barnaby slammed to a stop, his gaze locked on the most stunning sight he had ever witnessed in his life. Like a veritable goddess, Rose stood bathed in firelight, each dip and hollow shimmering seductively beneath the moisture that clung lovingly to every inch of bared flesh. He couldn’t move. The sight of her was simply arresting.
“Good Lord,” he whispered aloud.
Rose wished the floor beneath her feet would open up and swallow her. “I am sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t think you would be back.”
Trying to salvage some semblance of pride, she looked for something – anything – to cover herself with. Her dress lay in abandon at his feet but there was no way she was going to go near him to retrieve it.
“Rose,” Barnaby murmured huskily.
She jumped when she realised he had crossed the room and now stood directly behind her – she hadn’t heard him move.
“Thank you,” she murmured, snatching at a towel he held in one hand.
Rather than release it, Barnaby held on and stepped closer. The air between them crackled. Rose shivered. Fighting temptation, Barnaby leaned forward until his cheek rested against hers.
“I couldn’t just leave,” he murmured, placing a tender kiss on her shoulder. “I couldn’t leave with such discord between us.”
“I don’t want to force you into marriage. This is not going to end at the altar,” she assured him. “It can’t. There are so many things I want to do; to experience. I won’t be your burden.”
“I know,” Barnaby murmured. “I don’t want you to consider marriage to me as some sort of sacrifice.” The reluctance in her voice surprised him. It was the last thing he expected to hear, and he was at a loss to know how to deal with it.
Rose wanted to assure him that it wouldn’t be, but something prevented her from doing so. She was still so very confused about what she wanted, but didn’t want to confide in him until she had matters settled in her own mind. With him standing so close, though, it was darned difficult to think about anything other than the raw need that stirred within.
“I thought you were going to see your colleagues,” she murmured, still trying to tug the towel out of his hand.