He scowls and walks inside, shutting the door behind him. How had I ever mistaken his arrogance for strength and confidence? I’m chalking it up to being young, stupid, and in love. They do say love is blind for a reason.
“People are contacting me for interviews, Tilda!”
I hate the sound of my nickname on his lips. What was once sweet and endearing feels tainted and dirty.
“I’ve asked you not to call me that anymore, Jackson.”
He blinks. “You can’t erase our past.”
“No. But I can put up new boundaries that you need to respect. We’re not together anymore. You don’t get to call me a cutesy name to sway me to whatever point you’re about to make.”
He scowls. “What the hell is going on with you? Are you really this threatened by Brittany?”
I laugh. “She is a child who’s welcome to you. If she can keep you.”
“I love her.”
“And you loved me. Didn’t stop you for trading me in for a shinier model.”
His full, upper lip curls and his bright blue eyes flash with indignation. “That is not what happened.”
“Wasn’t it?” I tilt my head. “I guess we recall things differently.”
He shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling. “We were stuck in a hamster wheel of misery.”
“And you couldn’t talk to me about that like an adult because ...” I arch an eyebrow, refusing to give an inch. “It is no longer my job to cover for you. Clem can make her own mind up about you without me saying a word one way or another.” I spent years hiding my own pain and embarrassment because he missed yet another parent/teacher conference event. It was a near-daily conversation with Clem about how Daddy loved her, but he had to work to support her. Now I can call him out on his bullshit without fearing repercussions. He never laid a hand on me, but his tongue cut like an expertly wielded scalpel.
“You’re overreacting. Like usual.” A master wordsmith, he manipulated, gaslighted, and misplaced blame like a politician. Over time, I got burned out and gave up fighting to be heard or make leeway. He hadn’t intended to change, and I wanted a peaceful existence more than I wanted to be right. Eventually, we were two fighters, standing in opposite corners waiting for the bell to ring. For me, the divorce papers were the ding ding I didn’t know I needed to hear. I’m prepared to slog it out to regain my voice, dignity, and hold the line I’ve drawn in the sand between us.
“What would I have even said that you’d hear, huh?” He steps closer to loom over me in my black leather office chair.
“This isn’t working. Let’s fix it or walk away.” I hold my fingers up as I list options.
“Because that’s such an easy conversation to have?” He sneers.
“Seems like it would’ve been easier than entering into an adulterous relationship. But what do I know?” I give a fake laugh, and he growls. “We were best friends for a long time. I had your back even when it cost me to create a united front. How dare you disrespect me like this?” It feels good to let the words I’ve bitten back fly free. I ball my hands into fists to resist the urge to slap him.
“Everything I did or said disappointed you,” he whispers.
“What? I never said—”
“You didn’t have to. I could see it in your eyes. When Brittany came to the lot to buy a car and requested me, I was flattered. She was young, beautiful, and completely in awe of me. It’d been a long time since I felt appreciated.”
“So she stroked your ego, and you forgot all about everything else.”
“No.” He shakes his head and sighs. “It was more than that. I felt needed. I wanted more of that. It became an addiction that overruled anything else going on in my head.”
“You’re a selfish asshole.” I spit the words out at him like acid.
He hangs his head. “I know.”
I push away from the desk and turn to face him. Peering up, I hold his icy blue gaze. “I’m not doing the competition as a way to get back at you. I just want to make Clem happy, and yes, have her be proud of me. Parents seek approval too, you know?”
“For years, you bitched and moaned about how much you hated publicity.”
“And I still do. Clem, however, is worth the discomfort.”
Jackson’s face softens. “You don’t have to do this to upstage Brittany.”